Stay the Nights
by Bew0G
Summary: Nah... not going to spoil you this one. The title says it all. Read at your own risk. Rated T/M (warning) as usual.
1. Chapter 1

What would Donna do if she saw him like this?

How would she respond?

If anyone had asked her how she felt that night, she would have used one word:

Now

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (unbeta-ed)_

**Chapter 1: Roleplay**

_Five hours ago._

Donna Paulsen's front door was open. Her curiosity got the better of her and she cursed herself for not rushing back to the elevator and calling the police.

Torn off planks she had no idea existed had been removed; holes in the walls with electric cables sticking out, water that had submerged the floor paving the way to her kitchen had her slowly walk mouth agape into her living room.

Home improvement, refurbishing and renovations were the words that stuck with her when the concierge who was carrying a torchlight tried to appease the two strangers – the tenants from 106 – who'd started yelling at her. Disaster was the only sensible thing she could make out from her surroundings.

The water at her place had leaked in the apartment below, creating two medium-sized holes under the fitted carpet and therefore the wooden boards. Wooden boards she hadn't seen in years.

This was bound to happen, they'd said.

On what grounds she'd asked, lawyering up. Bitter words were exchanged; especially with the man's wife. How was the fact that she was barely at home, single – didn't _have a man in the house _were the woman's exact words, reason enough for her to have made the mistake of missing the signs?

She'd dropped her bag; a loud bang that seemed barely audible compared to the boom box possibly playing the last terrestrial airwaves in America.

The concierge had cut the power in her apartment and called a plumber. More explanations and more yelling ended up giving Donna the worst possible headache. These people had an explanation for everything.

"You should call the renovations company you hired back then, Ms. Paulsen," her concierge had said, seeing how overwhelmed Donna was. Not only was he a nice man, he was right. She couldn't say the same thing about the tenants below.

She felt powerless. Liable for damages.

Before even thinking about booting them out of her home, she'd asked for the tenants' numbers and called the company hotline despite how late it was. Hardly any apologies into that phone call, she had gathered the absurdity of the circumstances that had led three complete strangers into her apartment.

She'd asked if she could gather some of her belongings but the ground wasn't stable enough according to the plumber. She had to move out for an unknown length of time. She would have to book a hotel room and despite how much money she earned, these expenses would delay some of the very expensive choices she'd finally come to make. No clothes, no bathroom utensils. Donna Roberta Paulsen was left with nothing.

Renovations-NY had remodeled her apartment twice. The first time was five years ago as soon as she'd bought it – once she had the financial means to do so. And she'd done it again after she became COO; about six months ago. Apparently "these things happen" the secretary had told her over the phone.

Tired from her day and ready to sue the workers' asses and the whole freaking company's, Donna wanted nothing but to call Harvey. Except he'd left early – whatever were his reasons were these days it was none of her concern, so she dialed Louis's number from her wreck of an apartment.

Instead of Louis, it was Sheila who'd answered.

"Donna, queen of Reds, how may I or my master, Louis Von Cat, service you tonight?"

"Hi Sheila," Donna answered, blinking a few times; she was certain she was interrupting the very conversation she had no desire to have with Louis during the day. Of course this was about that freaking sexual role play he'd been fantasizing about all day. Girl Talk didn't mean she was a sex-life expert. "You two sound busy, I should call tomorrow."

"Nonsense, I'm putting the phone on speakers."

"Right…" Donna was trying to wrack her brains as to why she hadn't hung up already.

"Oh my sweet Lord..."

No answer.

"Lord Von Cat?" Sheila continued.

"Really… it's fine, Sheila, I'll call back tomorrow." Donna tried.

"LOUIS!" Donna heard Sheila yell before something akin to the sound of a vase breaking reached her ears; followed by Louis's cursing habits.

"SHIT! SHEILA I TOLD YOU I WAS–"

"WE HAVE A…" she paused for emphasis, "_RED_… ALERT."

Donna cringed internally.

"Oh my God! Sheila are you bleeding? Is the baby fine?" Donna could hear Louis rushing back, from wherever he was, to his fiancée's side.

She knew the whole thing was preposterous and that she shouldn't laugh considering the implications, but Donna couldn't help herself.

"For God's sake you dimwit! The baby's fine…" Sheila sighed. "Stop ruining it and stay in character!"

"Oh, I'm sorry… I–" Louis began but Sheila cut him off.

"CHARACTER!" she commanded. "Queen Donna wants to speak to you."

"My queen," Louis began. "Lord Von Cat; ready to oblige."

"Louis, water leaked through my walls and floor…"

"I'm appalled, how come your castle is in disarray my queen?"

Donna let the role play part slide and explained: "I don't know but I think it has to do with the renovations I did. I'm going to have to move out for God knows how long and they're saying I'm liable for damages."

"My mighty sword is taken right now," he paused and Donna did her best to shove away the mental picture of Louis's sex face away. "But my pen will be ready to sue their stupid asses tomorrow."

His words weren't helping. In fact, this whole interaction was more of a distraction than an actual battle plan. "Come to think of it Louis, I'd better ask Harvey."

Louis sighed. "You're right; the king doesn't like it when I interfere."

King? Harvey? Donna chuckled. At least Louis was sounder of mind than she was. How his personal growth still outmatched her own she'd never know.

"The queen has spoken, my Lord," Donna heard Sheila say. "Now, let's sharpen your battle axe."

"My sword, milady!" Louis retorted.

"SPEAKERS!" Donna yelled before grimacing. "I can hear you…"

"Right… sorry, our small abode isn't as welcoming as your castle, my queen but if you find yourself in need of accommodations, Lady Von Cat and I would be more than happy to welcome you." Louis words warmed Donna's heart.

"Thank you, Louis." She could always count on her friend.

"Besides, it'll be fun to explore the limits of this scenario with you. I mean it's been so fulfilling so far Donna, Sheila and I could go on for days."

Or not. And that was her cue to say goodnight. "I found a hotel room, so don't worry about it. Goodnight you two."

"But I thought you said –" Louis's last words died with the swipe of her fingers – effectively ending the beyond-this-world phone call.

"What sort of friends do you have, Ms Paulsen, I wonder," Linda scoffed.

Donna thought about commenting on this woman's prying habits but refrained from doing so. Looking at this woman's husband told Donna enough – bitter, hadn't aged well compared to the man she hated admitting was the only one in her life. Linda was likely lonelier than she was and she'd probably kill to be with most of the men she had been with. Including the only man she could call; the one she wasn't supposed to.

It went straight to voicemail the first time around so she called again. She was ready to give up when he answered.

"Donna now's not a good time." No 'sorry'. Dry. Somewhat brutal. Harvey style.

Instincts prevailed for no sigh came out on her end. "This can't wait, Harvey."

"I'm sorry but... it should have to." Harvey sounded then preoccupied.

She put a hand to her face, hating herself for pushing his buttons. "My apartment's a mess. I'm about to sue a company I hired years ago and I _need_ you."

Maybe the verb 'need' was some sort of code after all this time for he sighed and used a whole different tone. "Are you home?"

His determined voice reassured her. She continued. "Yes and you won't believe it but –"

"I'll be there in twenty."

Donna sighed in relief at the idea that he was coming to help her somehow but despite how many times he'd come to her rescue, she still felt in waiting – especially when he would hang up the phone prepared to close anything in his path.

* * *

"Was this her?" Lily asked, taking a sip of her wine.

"Who, Mom?" Harvey gulped his fourth – or was it fifth scotch of the night.

"The woman whose name you never once brought up tonight?"

"You've heard of Donna before," Harvey scratched his five o'clock shadow. He'd usually shave before going out at night. This time he didn't.

"Thanks to your brother I have but... I'd never heard you speak of or to her before. And now I get it."

Harvey tilted his head to the side. "What?"

"You were so focused. I mean the world could have run its course around you, you wouldn't have cared."

"If this is about our earlier conversation..."Harvey warned her not to continue.

"Harvey _it is_ about our earlier conversation."

"Then it's a big fat no." Harvey waved at the waiter and asked for the check.

"Oh come on, Harvey. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm perfectly fine, Mom," Harvey said, taking his wallet from his inside pocket.

"No… you're not. Every time I said something about family or love tonight, you ordered a drink."

"I'm going to have to cut this diner short. Donna said it was an emergency so I'll call you a cab." Harvey deflected.

"See? It's her, isn't it? Nothing or should I say no one else matters!" Lily was practically beaming.

"I was just stating facts. You're speculating over a relationship you don't know a single thing about."

Lily grabbed her son's hand before he could fully rise up from his chair.

"Earlier you said the only reason you'd ended it with Paula was because she wasn't the one."

"And I told you she'd asked me for the impossible."

"Listen Harvey, I've been feeling as if I'm tripping on a minefield with you all night but now I can't help but ask…"

"We went over this. My reasons are my own." Harvey's statement was final.

Lily's however would stick for a while. "Did you date Paula to escape the Donna issue?"

"I'll only say this once for my benefit and for yours. I dated Paula because I wanted to start something serious for once with someone I was attracted to. It's a trial and error system, Mom. That's how it happened. It ended. I'm still not married and the grandkids are not coming to Grandma's house anytime soon. Now are we done?"

Lily released her grasp on his hand, feigning acceptance. Harvey heaved a sigh of relief. It would suffice for the time being.

"So, do you still want to join me for breakfast tomorrow?"

"I do. Would nine o'clock be okay?" Lily said, standing up.

"Good," Harvey said, helping her put her coat on.

His mother kissed him on the cheek before adding, close to his ear. "It's not a trial and error system when there's someone who always matters more than the rest."

Lily's words struck a chord. "Pay that check, go help Donna. I'll ask the headwaiter for a cab."

Twenty five minutes later, Harvey showed up at Donna's door. He didn't have to knock for it was still open; a portable light illuminated the hallway. From this room alone, he could tell her apartment was more than a mess. It had turned unsanitary. Had this happened overnight? He noticed Donna standing in the hallway, on the phone with her back facing him.

He caught snippets of the conversation as he walked up to her.

"I have no idea how long I'll have to stay… How would I know? Listen, some of my favorite things in this world are damaged goods, I'm this close to losing it and you're… What do you mean it'll cost extra?" Donna paused. He could hear her practically sobbing. She eventually cursed under her breath. "Screw this… yes, yes I'm here, yes, let me grab my credit –"

"Hang up the phone," Harvey interrupted.

She turned around. The redness under her eyes was bound to be overlooked considering the smile she was sending his way. He liked the feeling. "Harvey… just give me a sec, I'm –"

He cut her off again asking for her phone with his hand. "Whatever hotel room you're about to book, don't. You can stay with me… stay the night, I mean."

* * *

Too stunned to move, he took the phone from her hand and spoke over the phone. "She's good, don't book the room. Thank you."

Harvey – acting like a king and yet looking like a knight in shining armor. It was all in the suit, every goddamn time. Taking charge even though he wasn't her boss anymore was something she didn't think she could take away from him. Sometimes like tonight she didn't care. She wanted this; getting to feel just how much he cared. It was in the way he'd handed her back her phone, his thumb brushing lightly against her palm. Putting Donna at an emotional disadvantage was his specialty; she was getting something more and this was making her feel beside herself. She could have hugged him on the spot. But he was out of reach – checking the damages – before she could let her brain venture where she hadn't allowed herself to since the kiss.

"Don't go past the couch," she warned. "Unstable ground."

He halted and noticed her bookstand had taken quite a shower. He knew some of the books in there were rare editions. "I know a guy who'll call some movers to get your essentials and store your furniture tomorrow after we've established how unstable the ground is."

Donna watched him ponder for a moment. Suddenly he took off his jacket, placed it on the couch and rushed to the bookstand, avoiding the broken or soaked wooden planks.

"Harvey!" Donna shouted his name. "What the hell are you doing?"

As creaking sounds of his feet cut a path through the room, he explained: "Grabbing some of your rare editions. Help me out with the titles, will you?"

She watched him test the floor carefully before he collected at least three Shakespeare plays. He certainly had an eye for details. It went by fast; he asked her if the other two novels were worth taking. She nodded in agreement but urged him to come back to her side.

He did so and placed the book in the hallway. "You need anything else? From uh…" He scratched his head like a young boy. "Your bedroom? Bathroom?"

Donna thought it was the cutest thing ever until she realized he could kill himself in doing so.

She smirked. "Bedroom's off limit."

He arched a brow; his smug face did something to her stomach. "Bathroom it is."

She caught his arm before he could venture off again. "If you cross over that couch again, Harvey, I swear to God I'll join you and we'll fall and die together."

He rolled his eyes – probably thinking the ground wasn't as unstable as everyone seemed to think. "Give me a break with the poetic tragedy. You read too many books."

Barely offended, she took pleasure in his little game. "I don't!"

"Shakespeare-worm!" He teased.

"That was stupid," she scorned.

"Damn right heroic, you mean," he countered, grabbing his jacket.

"Erratic!"

"Poetic!"

"Thank you," she said, calming her senses.

"You're welcome." Donna felt herself drowning in his dark orbs. The smile was there as was his comforting hand – rubbing her left arm. Soothing her some more. He so rarely did this.

Another sob threatened her voice. "They're saying it's my fault."

"Who did?" He frowned.

"The tenants below me… Could they force me to sell, Harvey?" She panicked.

"They won't get a chance to. This'll be over by tomorrow night. I promise."

"Thanks Harvey," she repeated.

"You don't have to thank me…" Harvey licked his lips – looking everywhere except at her – as he put his jacket back on. "Do you need to buy some clothes for the night? A toothbrush…scratch that, I have a spare for sure."

"I'm just tired; I can survive one night without clothes." That certainly didn't come out right given the look in his eyes.

"Donna… Roberta… Paulsen… sleeping in the nude," he remarked, tilting his head to the side.

"Not what I meant," she corrected him. She loved the game too much for her own good.

"You're thinking about grabbing some cheap pajamas on the way home now, aren't you?" He teased. It was the home part that started playing with her insides. His home… was what he meant.

She grabbed the books and ushered him out of her apartment. "I'll have you know that your very clean t-shirt and boxers are mine tonight."

"Sorry, dry-cleaning malfunction; you'll have to go commando tonight." He watched her lock her front door. "I noticed tonight's a full moon–"

"I'll just lock myself into your bedroom." She double checked she'd locked it properly.

Harvey moved closer to her, his warmth could have ironed her coat all the way through her dress at this point. If only that was all it did to her. As he whispered into her ear – his lips practically brushing against her skin, she realized something was off. "Who says you're getting my bed?" He was flirting over the limits – limits they'd never set straight – and alcohol lingered on his breath. Moreover, the last time she'd seen his five-o'clock shadow was in the morning after the other time. Her last thought didn't help his case but the rest of her analysis explained part of his antics at least.

Donna had caught the runner in the headlight. "Where were you tonight?"

"Having dinner with my mother, why?"

"Did everything go okay?"

"Yes." He took a step back and reverted to a more serious composure. "It was fine. We're fine."

"You don't look fine, Harvey."

"I'm fine, Donna. Why do you always have to know everything?"

"Because you're my friend –"

"Your friend…" He scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She frowned.

"Nothing…" he deflected. Nothing new here, she thought.

"How many drinks did you have?" She pressed.

"You know what, Donna?" He began, scratching his scalp. "It's none of your business," he replied dryly.

"It is when you're too drunk to even notice you're way past just flirting with me." Her words shut him up for a moment.

This was dangerous territory; probably just as much as her apartment right now. She searched his face, his eyes – looking for clues to unlock his brain – sensing she'd hit a nerve. "You say I always know everything but you always know what you're doing too. 'Takes two to play this game, Harvey."

"Of course I know what I'm doing," he groaned, loosening his tie.

She knew she would regret not second guessing herself. "Then if you're doing it consciously, what does that –"

"Mean?" He finished her sentence for her. "It means we flirt, Donna. That's what we do to make each other feel better. It doesn't mean anything else."

"Okay," she uttered softly, trying to contain the situation. She was just as responsible for after all; accepting the game – over twelve years of experience on her resume, just like good whisky.

He started pacing around her; left fist balled up. "You can't know _everything_. You're not my fucking wife."

This was bad and she had no idea where he was going with all of this. Donna wasn't even sure she'd get to make a deal by the end of this impromptu fight. "I think I got it."

"No… I don't think you do." Harvey would never sneer unpleasantly. But that didn't make his harsh tone any less unpleasant.

The conversation seemed to be between Harvey and his self.

"Trust me when I say I clearly get it. You just know where to poke." There was no point in walking away from the truth. They were nothing more than who they were and he would never be ready to let her in or simply admit to anything.

It felt more like he was giving her an earful than some truth. "Am I not here for you right now?"

"So you can be here for me but I can't be here for you?" She asked. After all, nowhere did it say Donna couldn't tell Harvey off too.

Each step forward and each step back he took, another blow awaited her. As if one side of him would remain chemically drawn closer to her while his closed off brain processed the things he wouldn't dare say. Hard truths that felt more like enigmas; without any solution. "Not in this case. Not when I'm asking you to drop it."

She'd only seen him like this around her when it had to do with them – and their blurred lines. Liberty Rail, leaving him to work for Louis and right after she'd kissed him.

"We're tired. This has gone too far. We should stop and I should–"

"Maybe I don't want to stop. Maybe I want you to hear all of it," he pressed.

"Harvey, stop…"

From the corner of her eye, Donna saw him anchor his soaked shoes no more than a feet away from her. She could feel his eyes burning all over her. His anger subsided along with his fist; Harvey's most significant tell tale. It was over. Apologies would ensue and there would be no answer. Maybe it was for the best.

This whole thing wouldn't have been closed but at the very least dropped on a far better note hadn't the 106 tenants jumped at their throats. "What the hell did you do?"

"What now?" Harvey grunted, turning around to see who was coming their way.

The woman spoke first – she would probably lead the conversation anyway. "I thought the plumber told you not to run around the apartment."

Confusion set in. Donna echoed the woman's words trying to make sense of them."Run around the ap–"

But Harvey, even in his state, was quicker to realization than she was. "It was me. I grabbed some of her things."

"Well…" the woman eyed Harvey up and down carefully – she was obvious. Too obvious for Donna's liking. Linda ended up looking flustered instead of unnerved. "You…" She turned to Donna and vented: "Now there's a hole in our ceiling. And trust me when I say I will sue you for this."

"Oh… you'll sue us?" Us. Not her.

Harvey walked up to the couple, focusing his menacing stare on the woman. "Let me introduce myself. I'm Harvey Specter, attorney at law. I work at Zane Specter Litt Wheeler Williams."

"This sounds like a fake law firm, isn't that right Jake?" The woman searched her husband's eyes for support.

"Yes, Linda. You're right it does." Her husband nodded like a dog following his owner's command.

"Are you serious? This is where I work!" Donna hurled at the couple before mumbling under her breath. "Unbelievable."

"Like the life you lead," Linda criticized her upstairs neighbor again, taking another visibly more jealous than lustful look at Harvey. "Is he one of your regulars?"

Donna's usual witty repartee had no place here – not after the way this woman had taken pleasure in pointing out all of her faults ever since she'd gotten home. "Not this again!"

Harvey didn't seem to like this Linda woman's tone anymore than Donna did.

"Linda is it?" Harvey swallowed, barely acknowledging the woman's response and extended his hand to the man. The weakest link, Donna thought. "And you are?"

"David." The husband shook Harvey's hand.

"David, it's nice to meet you. Could we go see where the hole in your apartment is? Just the two of us."

"What are you doing, Harvey?" Donna asked, trying to stop him with a hand on his arm.

It was a futile attempt even though he didn't reject her touch. "Just let me clear this thing out, it's why you called, isn't it?"

Donna lowered her head as he walked away. "Okay," she breathed out. He was right. He was a friend. Her friend; or less than that. Or more. Whatever had happened between him and his mother, she'd interrupted it. Guilt. She was suddenly feeling all of it. Donna hated herself for prying after one stupid flirty conversation. She was no better than the woman in front of her.

Left with Linda for sole companion, Donna heaved a defeated sigh when she saw the woman ogle Harvey's backside. After a good five seconds, Linda resumed her enquiry. "Leaving you… like this? Yeah, definitely your boss."

"Former boss. Just doing his job," Donna corrected her as she held the books she'd clung to this entire time closer to her chest.

"Aren't we all just looking for someone to hold on to in life?"

"Do you speak in rhymes for a living?" Donna jibed.

"You're going to pay for all the damages that you've caused."

"Harvey wins. Every goddamn time."

"Maybe he does. But so does my lawyer."

"Harvey wins." Donna repeated. The certainty in her tone should have left the discussion at that. But Linda was the worst of stereotypes; the kind that attacked by devaluing women.

"We get older and then they move on." Regarding this third-party case it was all bark and no bite. But on a personal level, the bite did hurt Donna.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. David seems like a fine husband," Donna stated, unable to stop herself.

"You think you're above us all with your fancy dresses and perfect hair but you're just another forty-year-old acting like the world around her owes her everything. It doesn't. No matter what your handsome friend says, you are responsible and will clean up after your mess."

"I don't need anyone, you hear me, anyone to know just how wrong you are." Donna blurted out before stressing on the word _anyone_ again.

"Except him it seems. And it so happens he's causing even more damage."

As much as it pained Donna to admit her freedom was limited, the woman was right. She needed him. Her dependency on Harvey was all too real. She wasn't his wife; she was no one's. Too lost in her own thoughts, she managed to block out Linda's harmful words. Some of it had to do with her sex life, Donna was certain of it. Pure nonsense. Hence why she'd let it slide but she couldn't have missed out on Harvey's voice for the world.

"I wouldn't be so presumptuous Linda," Harvey interrupted them, out of breath.

"And why shouldn't I be, Mr. Specter?"

"Because the damage is under Donna's bedroom floor therefore no one's responsible in this particular case." Harvey went on, leaving her no room to speak. "And if I hear you say anything about me being a regular or Donna being something akin to a woman of low morals again, I promise you a far worse lawsuit than the one you have so irritably intended against my client."

"Who says I'm not going to file suit?"

"I am." Harvey's tone had Linda freeze on the spot. "But if you change your mind, tell your lawyer to give me a call. No number needed. He'll know who I am."

Harvey turned to Donna and grabbed the books from her arms. Tucking them under one of his, he offered his other hand to Donna to take. "Ray's downstairs. Do you still want to come over tonight?"

No obligations. It was the simplest of questions and it still tormented her. Donna could keep her options open. Maybe she didn't want options. Maybe she wanted to hear all he had to say. She could have gone with: _Are you sure this is a good idea?_ Instead, she settled for: "Do you want me to?"

He gently took her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. As he led her towards the elevator, she felt liberated. Donna was no one's anything; just his former multiple things. But he was the only one giving her the time of day like a significant other would.

*** (to be continued)

* * *

STN

STN

New story. Didn't think I'd write one again. Unbeta-ed for now. It's based on that prompt... yes, you know which one (you know butt naked Harvey's coming up soon) but I need stories more than buttocks. So I'm going with this one. Let me know what you think.

I hope the story (besides butt naked Harvey of course) will please you. I needed to write pre-canon darvey. My Harvey's a bit alpha in this story but I want to explore his season 8/9 growth. You'll get both points of view at different times but Donna's a character I want to focus a lot of energy on too. So yeah, hopefully you'll stick around. You know I couldn't do this without your support.

Dedicated to all my twitter friends. And by the B-way, I love you,

Sincerely,

BG


	2. Chapter 2

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (still unbeta-ed)_

**Chapter 2: Don't let yourself give in.**

No peace. No panic. They'd barely exchanged meaningful words during the car ride except for platitudes and Donna's reasons for not going to Louis's. Harvey laughed but she could tell from his crooked smile he wouldn't have liked her to secure Louis's help on the case in place of his. Not that they needed to. And exhausted as she was from the evening, she found some comfort in this silence. His hands held everything: the Italian food they'd pick up on the way to his place, her books now in the extra bag he'd asked for. Treading lightly and picking up the pieces with them had been Donna's routine for the better part of the last six months; tonight her highs could hit a new low. They already had considering the bitter words they'd exchanged – his more than hers.

As they entered Harvey's building, Bernard the concierge called out to the lawyer. Harvey's senses flared-up and before the man could speak he said, "Bernard, you know Donna?"

"Of course, I do Sir. Good evening Ms. Paulsen," the older man said.

"She..." Harvey paused, looking at Donna. "Let her in at all times."

"I've never stopped her before, Sir. I apologize if I made it look like she wasn't welcome."

"We know that, Bernard. I guess what Harvey's trying to say is that I can't go back to my apartment and –"

"She's staying the weekend." Harvey finished for her – the sudden confidence was a turn on for Donna but also an excellent reminder of his decision-making process; having already decided she'd stay beyond the night. This alone should have triggered warnings. She didn't think she could handle another fight over their undefined state especially in such a confined space. Alone and with him. She'd convinced herself they should remain as they were. Then why did the notion that she would have to leave his place after the weekend annoyed her more than not being able to set foot in her apartment anytime soon?

"Very well, Sir."

"Goodnight Bernard," Harvey said, inviting Donna to walk with him to the elevator.

"Excuse me Mr. Specter but your mother – a Lily Specter – dropped something off for you earlier," Bernard said handing Harvey the parcel.

"Thank you," Harvey said.

"She also said to thank you again for tonight and that she hopes that you sort out your…" Bernard gave Donna a side-way glance before continuing, "issues."

"Goodnight Bernard," Harvey repeated more abruptly this time and walked towards the elevators.

"Goodnight," Donna echoed, giving the man a tight smile not really knowing where to stand.

"Goodnight Ms. Paulsen." The concierge smiled warmly at her and walked back to his desk.

Donna caught up to Harvey. He held the elevator door open for her. A few floors into their ride up, she needed to do something, think of something. Her high heels had been killing her so she decided to take them off; the perfect distraction. She could feel Harvey's eyes on her hand as she placed a lock of hair behind her ear. She gave him a small smile and said: "Do you mind?"

He shook his head no but he looked transfixed. She felt his burning stare again, roaming down the contours of her thighs, legs and ankles as if said-stare could have touched body parts.

She moaned in appreciation as she took them off, overdoing it on purpose. "Good God this feels so much better." Although the release she felt trumped her womanly dishonesty.

Donna had expected him to frown, tease, laugh or downright mock her but all she saw was him clenching his jaw; his Adam's apple bobbing up slightly.

"You're so lucky to be a man," she indulged herself, wondering what kind of night she'd be in for.

Nothing; no teasing. Absolutely no verbal reaction.

"What's wrong, Harvey?" She asked, worried since she hadn't said anything wrong.

"Nothing," he said, shutting his eyes briefly as the elevator stopped on his floor. He inhaled loudly before stepping out. "I'm just tired, I guess."

She let it go and followed him to the front door. She put her shoes by the door once they were in the hallway.

"Okay so…" he began, placing the food and books on the countertop. "You can sleep in my bedroom. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Harvey, I really don't mind sleeping on the couch." Donna interjected, placing her purse on the countertop as well.

Donna observed him rushing ot his bedroom. She didn't even bother to check it as it felt like forbidden territory. While he seemed to be ruffling for some stuff he said, "I'd have let you book that hotel room if I had no intention of being a good host. So end of discussion."

She took off her coat and walked up to the counter to take out the various food containers.

"I'll be right there, just need to brush my teeth and grab some stuff for the night," he added.

Thankful the food was still warm, she inhaled the strong smell of Bolognese sauce before taking in the place. She knew this apartment by heart but besides the fireplace and her now long dead cactus, it looked cold. Just as cold as he could be. That rough exterior that told you everything Harvey Specter would dare let you in on. Even his office looked more like him but the atmosphere here was sort of bleak; loneliness saturating the walls. This bachelor's attention to masculine details didn't make up for the startling fact that there was a warmth missing.

"You're not the slightest bit worried I might find some compromising things about you in your bedroom… or in that huge closet?" She teased, looking for cutlery.

"At least I'm not the one sleeping naked tonight," he finally teased. Conversing normally hadn't seemed part of his plan but _that_ somehow, he hadn't forgotten about. A toothy smile graced her lips; she was glad he couldn't see how she ended up biting her bottom lip at the thought of him thinking of her. She'd pretend it was annoying in the past; that he had no right. _How I sleep is none of your concern. Neither is the Yankees' Batting Order, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. _

"Shit, they forgot the napkins," she mumbled to herself. "Do you have any napkins?"

"Next to the sink, I think. Top drawer," he said.

She looked and found no such thing. "Paper towel wasn't made to wipe ourselves clean, you know?"

"You know I rarely eat at home," he explained moving back to the living room.

"Boxing isn't going to help you keep in shape if you keep ordering take out," she pointed at her belly, showing him the risks.

He rolled his eyes and placed some change of clothes, a pillow and a blanket on the sofa. "I said I usually eat out like at a _restaurant_," he slowed down his speech on the last word, looking at her as if she'd never been to one.

"Expensive isn't synonymous with healthy but what would I know," she feigned stupidity.

"My belly's in perfect shape," he sighed, tilting his head to the side.

"I'm just saying," she began teasing as she sat on the bar stool, "It's a tiny bit bigger than it used to be."

"I'm not pot-bellied," he groaned, taking off his tie. "And by the way… why the sudden interest in my body?"

"We've barely exchanged a few words since I got here, I thought it'd be less awkward if I struck up a conversation," she admitted, opening one of the containers. She'd eat alone if she had to but at least she'd get something warm inside her.

"Okay, Donna." His eyes turned dark as he unbuttoned the top of his white shirt. Donna tried to dismiss the look by poking the pasta with a fork. She knew he was walking up to her. As he joined her behind the counter, she stopped her back and forth movement.

"Yes, Harvey? Care to get on board the what-normal-people-do train like… talk or eat?" she mocked, lifting her gaze to meet his.

"This is for you, you know I already had dinner tonight," he explained as she took a slow bite of her pasta.

Donna could tell that, to him, this felt like a repeat of her taking her heels off. His gaze lingered on her fork and mouth.

The next five seconds felt like a whole minute, this was nighttime Harvey but it wasn't their usual at-the-office routine. They were used to talk to each other or flirt like he did before he started sobering up. But they hadn't spent one single evening alone together since the Liberty Rail lawsuit against her – right before things got out of control. This felt like a reboot – or a remake, since it was taking place at his.

She hadn't forgotten about his evening dinner; it had just slipped her mind, favoring the idea that they'd share a meal together instead of getting back to a spur-of-the-moment conversation she – suffice it to say – was forced to endure. It was her mistake to bring up the evening he'd spent with his mother but she knew he'd gone over the line.

He wasn't being charming but at least, he'd provided for her needs. Helping her by keeping his distance; distance she couldn't grasp until the reasons for it were unequivocal. But she realized just how impossible it was for her to say no to him the moment he did it. The moment he showed her he would easily give in. And it was that kind of moment; for no uninterested man would have done it.

"Give me your hand so we can test your theory," he said, placing his palm over her empty hand that was resting on the countertop.

She let go of her fork completely and stared at his jugular, incapable of meeting his eyes.

"About what?" she pressed, finishing her bite.

Donna stared, wide-eyed, at his other hand fumbling with his waistband. He pulled out the hem of his shirt, grasped the top of her hand and placed the palm flat against his torso under his shirt. Donna gulped at the feeling suddenly coursing through her fingertips. She was frozen on the spot. She didn't dare move but realized her hand couldn't help it as sepia flashes of the past and new images captured her vision, triggered lustful thoughts and her insides quivered with envy. Rock hard abs, small tufts of hairs; the kind of soft firmness she had felt on other men but not like this. He was different, inaccessible and never ready. Harvey was a memory; and sadly one of her best. The warmth emanating from his skin reminded her of just how cold her hand was; of how unalike, unattainable and always unsure she actually was. She understood she was to him what he was to her. Still holding her hand in place, he'd controlled his breathing until now. It was relaxing, soothing even. But his abdomen started going frantic, entering a faster and disorganized in and out rhythm. Her fingers and palm loosened in acceptance. Donna had never been so afraid of being alone with him. And it was exactly why she wouldn't dare explore this any further.

Retracting her hand, she lost his touch and met his gaze; as her eyes shot up to his, she arched a difficult brow. She sensed her reaction didn't have the desired effect for it took him a few seconds to brush off the mixture of depth and desire in his eyes and revert to a more playful smile.

"Case in point," he said, tugging his shirt back in his pants. "Harvey 1, Donna 0."

"What are we doing here, Harvey?" She asked.

"Well," he pondered. "You're having diner –"

But she wouldn't let him get away with it. "And you are…?"

He scratched his head and moved away from her, "I guess I'm grabbing a drink."

She inhaled sharply, watching him walk up to the foyer, ready to pour himself a drink. "Thank you for tonight, Harvey but I've suddenly lost my appetite."

He swiftly turned around the moment she headed for his bedroom and called her name disapprovingly, "Donna…"

She tilted her head back at the sound of her name and stated, dejectedly, "I'm going to bed, Harvey. So unless you want me out, goodnight."

"I don't want you out," he said barely above a whisper.

"Excuse me." Donna made it seem as if she hadn't heard him correctly.

"That's the problem." Harvey treaded on finalities without any semblance of meaning.

Typical, Donna thought. "What _happened_ with your mother Harvey for you to be like this around me?"

He lifted his glass of whisky to his lips. "Nothing."

"For God's sake Harvey it doesn't make you weak to let me in on something you're going through."

"Goodnight, Donna," he said before gulping his drink in one go.

"Maybe you don't see it this way Harvey, but it hurts me. It hurts," she shouted, walking up to him. "You hurt me tonight with your 'You're not my wife' rant. I didn't deserve that. I've never asked you for anything, Harvey. You hear me? _Anything_!"

"She said I _want you_," he yelled before adjusting his tone. "Lily… that's what she said, Donna." Softer – his tone was softer as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulder. The two shiny orbs on his face told her this was one of the hardest things he'd ever have to do.

"Harvey…" Donna went soft, raising a hand to his face in an attempt to stroke his cheek. She'd gone too soft.

He grabbed her hand mid-air and said, "I don't want to want you Donna."

"Why?" She asked, her erratic breathing matching his.

"You know why."

It was the same goddamn tone and his answer could have been the same as the last time: 'because it would have been a mistake'. But she hated it. How could they be a mistake if they'd never given a relationship a try?

"No, I don't."

"Yeah, you do."

"No, I don't, Harvey. And the only reason why I can't get through to you is because you're afraid." The bitterness in her voice aggravated him.

"I'm not afraid." He warned her with his stare not to push it.

"You are, Harvey…And you're selfishly waiting for me to crack that brain of yours and tell you you should want to _want_ me." Donna licked her lips to mask the dryness inside her throat. "But I won't."

She was on the verge of sobbing when she saw the mixture of guilt and doubt in his features, so she kept convincing herself. "No, I won't."

The slender redhead, resolute in her strut, walked back to the bedroom. She stopped once more at his words.

"I can't… we can't," he began, "and you know why. You're afraid of it too. So don't pretend you're any different."

"What do you mean?" She frowned. She knew she'd lost control of the situation.

"You kissed me."

"I kissed you, Harvey. We've been over this. I don't have to tell you where I stand."

"And then you lied saying you didn't feel anything," he confronted her. She had to give it to him: that was bold of him to take that leap. He'd seen through her.

What came out of her mouth next didn't come easy for her. He'd hit the bulls eye and she was furious. "Is that you were doing all night? Testing _that_ theory?"

"What if I was?"

"I'd say –"

"I know what you would say, Donna." He was taking the reins, bullying her with his entire being. "You'd say I'm not the man you thought I was. You'd say all sorts of things that would make you feel better about yourself but let me just remind you that _you_, alone, chose to keep me at arm's length. I asked you to work for me because I needed you with me – not just in my bed."

She'd stared at moving lips while he enumerated her faults in the matter. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you compromised something inside of me – a place, a spot – that I wish I had reserved for you that day."

"If the thought of me feeling the same way about you – that compromised something lingering inside – didn't even cross your mind, then whatever I say won't matter."

"Relationships don't work, Donna but ours does. We're in control." He was begging her to understand only his tone was still brutal, dry and devoid of feelings.

"It hasn't worked all night, Harvey!" she practically yelled.

"Why do you think I didn't want to bring any of this up?"

She couldn't stop her train of thoughts. "But you did! You took my hand in yours more times than I can count. You flirted like you haven't in years… you –"

She shook her head in disbelief as he paced around trying to ease what she'd analyzed as one very telling and psychosomatic headache.

"Harvey… why did you really act that way towards me tonight?" She was begging for an answer.

"Because she..." He stopped himself from finishing his sentence and kicked the tray instead.

"Because Lily stirred something inside of you that made you think of us I got it," Donna came to the terrible conclusion that they'd been running around in the circles this entire time. Just like last time. There was no control over what or who triggered something in life.

"Welcome to the inner workings of my mind, Donna." Harvey sighed, walking back to the sofa and started preparing the beddings as if she weren't still in the room.

"I'll leave you alone." she said walking up the steps leading into his bedroom.

"Aren't you gonna eat that?" He asked gesturing at the Italian food on the counter.

"I told you before, I lost my appetite," she said. "But be my guest."

"I already told you, I actually ate with my mother," he corrected her, leveling his pillow.

"And look how that turned out." Donna closed the Japanese sliding doors abruptly.

"Goodnight," he said in a low voice, thinking she wouldn't hear him anyway. But she'd heard him.

The bed looked too big for her and yet it was the exact same size as hers. He'd placed a toothbrush, a towel and a white T-shirt on the duvet; neatly ironed and folded. She took her clothes off except for her panties and put his shirt on. She toyed with the hem that fell right above her knee. She'd never worn one of his clothes before. It felt like a piece of him; she could smell him on her.

"Dry cleaning malfunction, my ass," she whispered to herself. She used the bathroom to brush her teeth quickly and realized just how accommodating he had been and how she'd taken some of it for granted.

"Harvey?" Donna called out from behind the sliding doors.

"Fuck," Harvey muttered under his breath. "Yes, Donna, what is it?" Annoyance defined him at this point.

"Do you need to use the bathroom before I turn in?"

"No, I got it covered for the night."

"Okay," she said, thinking her next words through. "Harvey?" She asked again.

"What?" he asked, louder.

She slid the doors open slightly to keep her voice intact. "Thanks for the T-shirt."

"You're welcome." Donna saw him pour himself another glass He should be allowed some peace and quiet. She had no right to judge him now. It was one of those nights and maybe sleep wouldn't come to him easy but it would for her. She turned off the single ceiling light and took in the full moon's reflection on the bed before getting in. Everything in fact smelled of him. Cocooned in his fresh scent, Donna twisted and turned several times enjoying the feeling all too much. It was the kind that coursed down her spine, secured her limbs and chest. The sweet caress of his sheets warmed her up faster than her own bed. She hadn't thought about her apartment until now and the disastrous image quickly faded as Harvey's beddings wrapped her up for the night.

* * *

Her empty stomach had caught up with her. She yawned the kind of yawn one had in the morning. She checked her phone, it was only 1 AM. The food would be cold by now but she'd noticed some bread on the countertop. She got out of bed, slid the doors slowly so as to not wake him up. Despite the fact that she knew his apartment, it was easier to get where she wanted to go with those glass windows offering the clearest possible view. Light snores filled up the room. Sneaking past him she saw the whisky bottle, a glass and his mother's parcel were down by the couch; he'd definitely drunk a few while she slept as he was still wearing most of his clothes.

Donna eventually found her way to the bread and picked a slice. Food for her – or drink for him for thoughts, she contemplated. She observed him with attention. The 'inner-workings' of his mind weren't troubling him at the moment at least. Lost in the sight of him, she hadn't noticed she was done eating. It hadn't felt like an intrusion. This was his natural habitat and watching him sleep was the most relaxing thing she'd experienced in a while.

Tiptoeing back into the bedroom, she heard him hawk, move and knock the glass the moment she'd slid the Japanese doors close. After mentally cursing the moon and the stars for their sentient timing, she told herself she wouldn't aggravate him this time and by all means avoid a confrontation. But another confrontation became the least of her concerns when she peeked into the small space between the doors checking if he'd actually woken up.

Harvey had indeed heard that thud. He sat up on the couch and ran his hand over his face. And then through his hair. He picked up the unopened parcel he'd laid near the whisky bottle. He looked her way. She thought he would see her looking through this made-up peephole. After all she was standing up, hiding in plain sight. He said nothing and focused his attention on the kitchen countertop for a moment. Time went slower from that point onwards. He stood up and walked in the direction of the armchair. Donna couldn't tear her eyes away as he started unbuttoning his cufflinks. The blue and white filter accentuated the reality of this intrusion; a movie-like version of her wildest fantasies about Harvey Reginald Specter.

Donna could only breathe and live the moment to believe that the man undressing in front of her wasn't simply willingly giving her a show. He'd been as clear as that full-moon light when he'd said he didn't want to want her. Therefore, it couldn't have been his doing. It was all hers for watching. Donna could feel him yanking his shirt over his head on her fingertips. She was intoxicating herself, staring at his messy hair, lowering her gaze to his carved back and strong arms. Flustered, she blinked a couple of times and absentmindedly ran her fingertips over her throat. Her mouth had gone dry from lack of movement. She must have blocked some of his actions like him taking his socks off – too focused on the way he'd bent over or used the armchair for support – for when he started working on his pants she considered looking away. Except by the time she'd made absolutely no decision, Harvey had pulled everything down in one go, including his boxer briefs. Harvey was many things: handsome from his loyalty, his exceptional talent as a lawyer to the touch of his hand on her body from over twelve years ago. Donna loved the way his voice got lighter when he would figure something out about a case or share something with her forgetting the mask he wore for others. She loved him when he'd put on his armor but she craved for him to take it off. His _naked_ was strong and as he put the rest of his clothes on the armchair, she felt her own body's response. She'd exposed herself to the truth; a nipple had hardened against her arm and she didn't have to check to know she was wet.

As he ruffled through his things, the muscles in his ass flexed smoothly. Donna Roberta Paulsen wanted nothing but to touch that butt, graze her fingertips against it, caress it with her lips and then grab it. She couldn't have been so far gone or so far from looking away as she was now; anchoring herself under him for the mental image of his thrusts. Melt under his breath and kisses, running a hand down his spine, holding on to each cheek and then come undone. Despite all the hurtful feelings they'd exchanged, his tongue tied disservice of tonight couldn't prevent her from inviting the whole fantasy in. He abruptly picked up the parcel his mom had left for him and, as he started to unwrap it, he walked towards the bay window – probably seeking more light.

His gait showed experience and certainty as to how to apprehend certain things. Donna could tell he was preparing himself for the worst. The gambler he was always had his guard up and those who'd gone up against him knew it. There was no way to break him when he was in that state. Unless the people who went up against him were his own.

He rubbed his hand over his neck and shoulder. Stiff, tight upper-body was a sign she wouldn't miss out on, even a hundred feet away from him. He'd tensed up.

He lowered and shook his head. She wanted nothing but to reach out to him; hug him, tell him she'd do anything to ease whatever pain he was going through. He did something with his arm and a few seconds later there was a watch on his wrist. She heard him breathe out sharply. Sobbing ensued and by the time he was crying she'd slid the door open and had rushed to his side. He remained frozen on the spot as soon as he became aware of her presence.

"Donna?" He covered his front, not daring to turn around nor look at the woman behind him.

It was in those hours in the night, long before light, when demons came out that the impossible happened.

Donna pressed her front against his back and ran her hand down his arm until she could feel the watch. "Is it your Dad's?" she asked. Her up-close breath raised the hair on the back of his neck.

She'd seen him naked before. She figured he could handle this. And she'd been right for he sighed and simply said: "Yes."

Donna took his hand but his fingers wouldn't meet hers. She'd exposed herself once more, ready to break the tension in his back – lift those damn barriers one feather kiss at a time. Until she needed to feel the skin on his upper-back more; asking for more, wanting him to want her.

"What are you doing, Donna?" He asked, seeking her reflection in the window for the first time.

"Doing what's been eating at us all night."

* * *

STN

STN

Of course it's to be continued! I'll have to get back to my life at some point but I have a couple more free days left to write this thing, so hit that review button if you liked it and want more. ;)

Thanks to everyone for letting me know how you felt about the first chapter. This is what keeps me going and you know it. I rarely say this but I'm deeply moved by your comments and appreciation.

Anyway, see you all tomorrow!

Bew0G, at your butt-and-call. ;)

Sincerely,

B


	3. Chapter 3

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (still very much unbeta-ed)_

**Chapter 3: When your skin feels like home**

He felt it all – senses heightened, one kiss times a million; and then another. Her breath against his neck had his cock tingle. At this point, Harvey had forgotten how cold the room was and felt dizzier than he was a minute ago.

"What are you doing, Donna?" He asked, seeking her reflection in the window for the first time. Her face was more than beautiful – gorgeous couldn't even cover it.

"Doing what's been eating at us all night."

He swallowed hard. Still covering his front with his hands, he felt himself grow uncontrollably. This wasn't the first time. In fact she probably had no idea how many times that had happened over the years.

Harvey was afraid – afraid of the darkness in his heart. But his body wouldn't allow him to be. Not when she was pressed up against him, hard nipples under the fabric of his shirt piercing into his back. Not when her fingertips started grazing his ass, roaming each contour, each cheek slowly.

He lowered his head to see where the hand he wouldn't hold would be going next.

"Donna, we could still –"

"Forget this ever happened?" She cut him off, moving the hand that had previously fondled his ass to his chest. Why were they so good at finishing each other's sentences? His pecks flexed at the touch. She was checking his reflection in the window bay as well, focused – determined to analyze his every reaction. Donna began leaving more kisses on his neck. If kisses could kill, he would have been dead the second she'd brushed her nose against his skin.

"Nothing's happened yet," he countered – trying to salvage what was left of this ideal version of them he had. The one he'd been battling all night. Not once had he thought she'd been observing him from the bedroom. He hadn't planned on not getting dressed fast – that damn watch had changed everything. But she was supposed to be asleep.

"Donna…" he groaned, warning her the moment her hand caressed the spot on his abs he'd made her touch earlier. His protests would die with heated skin, combust with the lies he'd told her.

"I know, Harvey," she whispered right under his ear before she met his reflection – her eyes were dark and strikingly wide; his tall frame preventing her from seeing the effect she had on his lower body. But she knew. Of course she knew. "I want you… if you'll have me." Her strength to state, to ask and to hope increased his heartbeat.

However this world was going to burn, it was going to burn tonight. Because the fallacy was real for he'd always wanted her. His mother's words had troubled him so much he'd tested the waters the entire night. Harvey realized he was liable for damages in this particular area of his life; but the moment her palm grasped the one covering his erection, he forgot his intellect came with directions. Maybe it was her crazy that he liked. Her bold statement. Maybe it was all the great sex he'd missed out on over the years. Because this wasn't so far from their same old.

And at that moment, it was her hand that made him vulnerable. "Hold me," he said and she let go of his body before taking a step back. His heart went haywire at the loss of contact and he was about to speak when he realized what she was doing. From the distinct sound her bending over, his jugular pulsated at the idea that she was taking her underwear off. And then it was his shirt's turn because of the way her arms moved from her reflection in the bay window. Equal footing; he could have smirked at the notion hadn't his stress taken on a whole other level the moment she'd come to him. As he heard it fall to the ground, he gulped. Donna put her arms around him again – one arm around his waist while the other clung to his chest. As she held him tighter, her whole upper-body pressed into his back. The hair on his skin stood up at the contact of her groin with his ass.

"Harvey?" He thought he'd heard her call his name.

Her body was invisible to him but it conveyed so much more than the frozen-in-time images of her nudity. His internal clock had never been so alive – graced with that sheer contact – even if it was settling for twelve year old memories. Thrilling and exciting for now; except he was no close to being blind. Had it been any other woman, he would have jumped her for pulling something like this; right here, right then. Without giving it a minute's thought; enjoying some blissful temporary insanity and saying goodbye to them in the morning. The silver lining was that he wanted no one else like he wanted her. The downside was that he'd jumped her bones before and hadn't thought things through. All in the name of 'difference'; because she was different; because deep down he knew exactly how he loved her.

Everything was going so slow – too slow for her it seemed. She broke away from their union. In his mind, he hadn't lost himself, hadn't lost track of them; too lost in her already. But his lack of answer must have troubled her. Donna moved to stand in front of him. He could barely see her face; she was but a shadow under that moonlight.

"Harvey?" She asked again. Her calls had been nothing but white noise until now. Unanswered enigmatic pleas the growling thunder inside of him wouldn't process from fear of losing it all: himself… her… and them.

Forbidden from losing himself in that window with no room to escape the want within him, he blew his cover and emptied the breath he'd been holding with a kiss. Back to reality and back to the naked Eve in front of him. All the words he'd withheld transpired with it for she quivered under from the pressure of his invasion. He captured her waist and pressed her up against the window. Harvey grinded the head of his cock against her belly; and she beautifully writhed to his rhythm. Donna's tongue was stalling him; he wanted to get a move on – desperate for the smell of her skin, he moved his lips to her neck as his hands caressed whatever part of her he came across. Her hair, her face, the side of her breasts; he felt like he was holding fire in his hands; the kind that burned. The kind that would leave a man harder than he already was. He sucked on her neck so hard he knew he'd leave a mark but he couldn't stop, her moans were too sweet a sound not to give them room.

Donna grazed her fingers against his balls and gave his dick one slow upward stroke. He felt heavy above her fingers. He searched her mouth with his parted lips again; they were a mess, grossly searching for angles and ways to stay glued together. Nevertheless, it was her reciprocity that was riveting to him. He'd feel the scratches of her nails, the kisses of her teeth later. None of it mattered for, as they were, as part of one another, those attacks were nothing but caresses. They weren't shy teenagers ready to communicate on every step of the process. They knew where it would end before it started. Lost in the smell of her hair – a vanilla haze he'd sought in every morning coffee – he would let her call the right time.

Harvey didn't care about not living up to the hype. He was a man who desperately wanted a woman after all. His only preoccupation was to not let her down. Harvey had control; he'd have coated her belly with his sperm too soon if he hadn't. And he wanted to hear her cry out.

Donna drew her fingers across the underside of his cock a few more times, lightly stroking its head. He knew the feel of silk and he felt like it under her hand. She put one of her arms around his neck and silently asked for support by lifting her knee, sliding it along his thigh. He grabbed the underside of her knee and secured it around his waist, doing the same with her other leg. As he caressed her knees with his thumb, she slipped him inside her. She gasped against his forehead, grasping his neck with both palms, thumbs landing on each side of his face. He shut his eyes at the feeling of silk slowly turning into porcelain. Donna was perfect but breakable. Frozen inside her, he allowed her hands to take some lead and lift up his chin. Never once able to see her face, she'd remained invisible to him. But she –at least – had been able to see everything.

"Please, Harvey. You have no right to do this to me now," she pleaded, caressing his face before kissing the corner of his lips. Her lack of faith in him wasn't misplaced. He'd been so caught up in his anguish he'd forgotten she didn't know the extent of her hold on his will. She hadn't given herself carte blanche. Somehow, it was her doubts that had cleared this path in the first place. She wasn't porcelain; he was. Her strength had brought them where they were and if nothing else, it would coax him into making sure she knew where he stood.

Their road split in two so long ago, he didn't think, he didn't know he had the right to claim her affection.

"You mean this?" He smirked against her lips after sliding out and right back in.

She giggled with a sob. It was a relief. And he smiled for her; she who could see as he built a rhythm. Her giggles turned into moans and she was likely looking at him with hooded eyes by the time he couldn't stop himself from increasing the pace. Her moans grew louder while the whole of Manhattan could see her, bearing witness to the most wonderful, sexiest lovemaking of his life. His smug face was quickly replaced by heavy panting as she came close, urging him on. "Harvey…" Her moans brushed his lips like feathers. Her silhouette moved higher up with every thrust, as if he were a climbing plant. Harvey fucked her harder by then; ramming into her while attacking her neck, continuously driving her pelvis into the glass. Hard and harder.

"Oh my…," Donna dug her nails in his neck as release hit her. "Fuck," she screamed in ecstasy. He couldn't see, only feel and drown in the beauty of it all. Her walls clenched and her entire frame went limp and weak around him. He slowed down, delaying his own release just to bring this – them, to a different end; with no pretense. Just him, one fucking asshole that'd walked away – who'd been walking away for too long. She was in his head; at work, at his desk, waiting by his car, at Del Posto, in his arms – and in his bed as he clung onto another. Falling _with_ her, always ready to fall _for_ her was the most rewarding gamble. He was feeling the fear. It was so good.

"Hold me, Harvey," she said, burying her face in his neck, her legs tightening around his waist again. Wanting to be held but clinging to him instead, the woman in his arms was just as messed up as he was. He brought his hand to her neck and ran it down her spine, resting it above the small of her back for a moment. "Come for me," she whispered seductively.

He breathed into her neck, closed his eyes and finished what he'd started.

* * *

Donna chose not to watch him come, preferring the comfort of his embrace. She had kept going for him despite the discomfort she'd felt in her limbs. And it'd been worth it. His hold on her went limp and she let her feet fall back on the ground. She had no idea how long they'd stayed like this – breathing into each other's neck, holding on to the remnants of a moment that was purely and simply over. The sweat on their skin, their restless heartbeats was proof enough that it'd happened. But the fear of letting go was too strong. And then she felt him kissing her neck and then move up, dropping soft kisses along her jaw. Still pressed between him and the window, she tilted her head back slowly to give him better access, feeling the promise behind his lips. She felt him creep away from her. She opened her eyes to look where he was going. He leaned back against the window by her side and held her hand.

"You really are something else, Donna Paulsen." She took in his chest, he was still breathing heavily.

"I know," she smiled.

"Let me look at you," he said reeling her in front of him.

Her hands fell on his chest as he cupped her face with one hand, the other resting on the small of her back. He was but a shadow under that moonlight as if only halfway hers. Another reminder that, night after night, amidst still shadows filling the emptiness inside, time had gotten away from her. Until now. How she used to feel so free back when her skin was just her own.

"Donna we–"

"I love you, Harvey," she blurted out, in his arms; only alone in the dark.

* * *

STN

STN

(*** to be continued)

There you go, gals. ;) Hope you enjoyed this one. Sorry for the shorter chapter but you wanted the next installment fast! Hit that review button for more. Thx for all the support.

Bew0G still at your butt-and-smut,

Sincerely,

B.


	4. Chapter 4

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (unbetaed once more)_

**Chapter 4: Outplayed**

_Her hands fell on his chest as he cupped her face with one hand, the other resting on the small of her back. He was but a shadow under that moonlight as if only halfway hers. Another reminder that night after night, amidst still shadows, time had gotten away from her. Until now. How she used to feel so free back when her skin was just her own._

_"Donna we–"_

_"I love you, Harvey," she blurted out, in his arms; only alone in the dark._

The look on Harvey's face was best described as follow: utterly, hopelessly stunned at first until the inevitable confusion cut his tongue. She distinctly heard him swallow. She was on the verge of convulsing from her admission but in no way was she ever going to take it back. Donna had the darkest of imaginations at that moment, as the walls of his apartment kept caving in and her sole light was that damn full-moon. His rapid breathing was the only thing reminding her of his presence.

She didn't really care about what anybody would say if they knew what she'd just told him. Donna in fact didn't give a damn about his answer at this point; she had no desire to think about anything.

It wasn't his lack of answers that troubled her but her own reasons for telling him. It was the simplest analysis. She'd just gotten down from cloud nine, barely over her high. It amplified her every feeling and thought. She'd gone barer inside than she was on the outside. And as far as she knew, one couldn't be more exposed than she was.

"And I'm tired of giving you my heart for nothing in return," she added in that deafening silence.

She felt jaded. Was she meant to feel this way already? Getting beat by her own game like this? At least it would be her mistake. Donna hadn't realized how empty she'd been feeling until his lips had crashed on hers. It was his want that she wanted. It was his need for her that she needed more than her need for him. The four letter word wasn't just a truth, it was a warning. The most tragic and yet truest version of herself in the end. And he had nothing to say.

"That's what I thought...," she sighed, turning around, she picked up her panties and the shirt he'd lent her before walking back to the bedroom, not because she wanted to sleep. _Definitely not_ because she had to think this through. It was certainly not to pack up her things so late into the night. Donna was searching for protection; anyway she could.

Maybe she would get to focus on her apartment again. Too trivial to forget him. Besides he was involved. Maybe she'd get to finally go through with IVF and single-parenthood plans. No donor-on-paper would ever match Harvey's looks though. Leaving the firm would be hard but she would have no choice. Tonight would have just been twelve years coming full circle; one last goodbye to Harvey and Donna. She walked with a heart that had gone numb; and that he could be responsible for it was the hardest thought she had to endure.

"I love you more than anything in this world," she heard him say softly.

Stopped dead in her tracks by his words, her lips began to quiver.

"That's how," he continued.

And then it all felt as if he were slowly crawling out of thick skin, "that's why." Harvey wasn't wearing any suit but he didn't seem to lack confidence either. It was his voice, the sound of it getting closer with every step that told her she should be afraid as if the physical was disconnected from the emotional. He pressed himself against her back and gently pulled her close to him, securing her waist in his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"Why what?" She couldn't lean into him but she'd dropped her clothes at the contact.

"Why you're something else… why I'm afraid and," he admitted, pausing for a moment to kiss her shoulder blade, "why I want to hold you in my arms all night."

Donna wanted to say that it felt amazing to hear. But she already knew this. They were way past the superficiality of said-feeling. Love. Blind as it was when things would go dark and sour. To have and to hold that faith in their fear, _that_ was the answer. Fear that used to keep the idea of them at bay, kept them moving towards each other now.

In truth, no matter what the people around them saw, the depth of their feeling was invisible to the outside world. It was like two sets of eyes facing in the same hallowed direction –a bed that they'd made through touches and tastes; where they could lie in until smells, shapes and sounds had to disappear. What they had together was more than love. The real question wasn't whether they could make it work. Whether they would ever have it in them to settle for less now that they'd fought for more was.

Donna brought it upon herself to think one step at a time, "I think…"

"What?" He asked; his tone soft and insecure.

"I'm a badass woman." She wasn't the least surprised by her words for her head was as clear as the light behind them. Having achieved something, she stared blankly in front of her and disentangled herself from him.

"You are." She knew for sure he was arching a brow while saying it.

"And that your bed is huge," she continued, feeling like teasing. She glanced at him over her shoulder, remembering she could see him from a better angle the closer she got to the bed.

She stopped at the door and finally fully turned around. He was in full view again. Naked. Practically ready. His father's watch looking like a studded armband from afar. And he was spectacular.

"And that you want me again." She concluded, smirking seductively when she noticed the wild look on his face: so turned on her heart was beyond fluttering.

"I do," he breathed out. "I fucking do." He rushed towards her, jumped over the two steps and hoisted her up in his arms, crashing his mouth onto hers as if there wouldn't be a tomorrow. Her eyes clenched shut. Instantaneous. Urgent. Coital. His tongue felt like the solution to the warning signs they'd barricaded themselves with over the years. They fell on the bed, with him trapping her under his weight.

He could set her on fire, set her body free and yield her to his fear. Two against one they were stronger. She just had to show him. "Harvey," she whimpered, a perishable breath against his lips, before sweeping the doubts off her whisky strong embodiment of agony.

* * *

Harvey woke up to light and vivid colors. The feeling of Donna's head and upper body snuggled against his body had him smile. While he stared at the sleeping force of nature upon him, running a hand through her strawberry blonde hair, he was mesmerized by the stark contrast between the darker tones of his skin and her pearly white one. He lost count of the freckles on her back within seconds as his mind took him back to the night they'd spent together. She hadn't asked him to fight the voice in his head telling him they were better off as whatever they used to be. Instead, she chose to focus on everything but the what-ifs. Their truths were out but she'd kept her cards close to her chest. It was insane to think he'd lost twelve years for the sake of keeping their connection alive when all they had to do was come together to give it meaning again.

He took some time to observe her hands; her long fingers that did the unspeakable to his groin area. Bossy but feminine. Slender but strong. Those burgundy-painted nails stirred up all sorts of fantasies. Sharp just like the bite he was giving his lower lip. Last night, she'd carved herself into his arms, back and all the way down to his ass.

"You really like my ass, don't you?" was the first thing he said to her when he saw her eyes flutter open.

"Hm…" Her small purrs were sexy as hell. Harvey's smirk grew into a smile as he watched her struggle to stretch out. "I really do," she let out after she had found a more comfortable position to nestle her head on the pillow beside him.

He praised her beauty with his hand, moving locks of hair behind her ear, staring and caressing her cheek.

"Harvey..." she uttered, softly. She sounded hesitant.

"Donna…" he mimicked, questioning her through her name.

She searched his eyes. "About my apartment."

He blinked and tilted his head back slightly, wondering if they'd ever have a more regular morning-after – as stereotyped as possible – which for him consisted in either sex, breakfast and an inevitable talk; in no particular order. The other time wasn't the best example so, maybe her option was better; maybe that's what they needed. For a while at least.

"What about it?"

"I'd forgotten today was a Saturday and that you might not able to do anything about it until –"

"I will. Trust me. It'll all be over by tonight. You have nothing to worry about," he asserted.

"Thanks," she said.

He hoped it would be enough reassurance. "So…" he said, hopeful he'd get her back to the morning-after routine.

"So…" she smiled at him. "What's for breakfast?"

"You." He yanked the covers off their bodies and got on top of her. He kissed her lips, savoring the taste of her.

"Morning… breath," she warned him between suctions, fidgeting slightly.

He scoffed: "Your loss." And slowly attempted to climb off of her wishing she'd stop him. "Want some bacon and eggs?"

He sent a devious smirk her way when she did stop him, her hands pulling him back to her. "Later," she blurted out before she pressed her lips against his again. He barely opened his mouth this time, offering her some relief and quickly descended his lips to her jaw, running sloppy kisses down her neck as he began massaging her breasts. She ran her hands through his hair when his face reached her stomach. "Morning scent," he joked, smelling her profusely.

He checked her face – she'd narrowed her eyes, before crawling lower under the covers. "Is now really the time to –"

"To what?" he purred at the junction between her legs. She writhed against his breath. His gaze locked on her again as she started gripping the sheets with one hand – her knuckles turning translucent, while her other roamed the valley between her breasts. As she spread her legs apart to get better access, she grabbed his left wrist and placed his palm on one of her breasts. He groaned into her center and fondled her chest appreciatively. She was falling again. And falling faster by the seconds. A surging tide of warmth spread through his penis at the very notion that he was the one affecting her like this. But he could wait. This one was for her.

She came hard under his expert mouth and fingers. Tired from his exertion, he gently placed one of his arms on her stomach and rested his chin on it. "Not too heavy?" he asked, stroking her arm with the hand she'd held on to dear life with. "You are many things, Harvey. And heavy's surely one of them. But no, not right now," she smiled down at him with hooded eyes.

"Good…, would you say I'm as light as a feather?"

"I wouldn't go that far."

The corner of his lips turned into another smile. He couldn't believe how many times she'd made him smile, as if he'd been star-gazing this entire time.

"As soon as you're ready for round two, you let me know," he softly said.

"And then round three," she teased, gracing the contours of his father's watch.

"I may have to keep my promise at some point, though," he sighed. "About your apartment, I mean."

She pulled him out from inside in a heartbeat. "What's the story here, Harvey?"

Her stare pierced right through his. She was trying to unfold what belonged to him. He loved her but he hated this. "We're not ready for me to tell you this yet."

"We?" She pondered.

"We," he repeated.

"Will you…" Her gaze wavered, "tell me?"

"I hope so," he said, lost in the uncertainty he was responsible for.

So lost, he hadn't heard the sound of keys jangling coming up from behind. The horrified look on Donna's face and the shrieking sound of apologies he heard reminded him of his actual morning plan. The woman trapped under his weight could indeed make him forget. As a grown goddamn man, it didn't have to feel this way. But it did anyway for as a man in love, nothing else mattered. Not even breakfast with his mother it seemed.

* * *

STN

STN

There you go! Another chapter that took me very long to write even though it's just as short as the last one. I had writer's block at some point. But I got some help. ;) (you know who you are)

As usual, if you like, please leave me a review on . Thanks again for all the support, I hope you liked this one.

Bew0G, always at your butt-and-coital (bliss)

Sincerely,

B.


	5. Chapter 5

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (still very much unbeta-ed)_

**Chapter 5: This love is a strange love**

Donna was drowning in his Cheshire grin. Things could have remained that way; her coming down from the kind of morning afterglow she hadn't had in a while. He really was something else, with the way he'd gone down on her, like a primate without a tie, applying pressure as if he hadn't eaten in days. She could still feel it; his morning bristles scratching her when he'd kissed her mouth and so much more. A contrast with the softness of his lips and tongue she'd invited over and over again as she rubbed her core in his face. Her past lovers had been generous but none of them came close to him. It wasn't a competition; it was just different – abrasively earth-shattering. And yet, he just won anyway.

She craved the physical, the perfection of his caresses but the thing that had led them to where they were was still haunting her: Gordon Specter's watch. A gift from his mother as it was.

"Will you…" Her gaze wavered at the thought that he might choose not to, "tell me?" Could his private world be a deal breaker for her? She knew there were things best kept private for the sake a relationship. But where they even there yet? Her eyes shot up, glancing over the top of Harvey's head. There was a blonde woman, wide-eyed and shock ridden at the sight before her. Harvey was barely hiding her breasts from view and he was after all butt naked between her legs, the sheets long discarded due to their prior activity.

_I hope so_ she thought she'd heard him say before the stranger standing at the threshold of their mess, stiffened in her posture, too surprised to look away, too embarrassed to prevent shaky words from coming out of her mouth. "Oh my God!"

Harvey switched position and turned around slightly as Donna covered her breasts with her arms. Everything felt muddled; they looked beside themselves and time stood way too chaotically still. Donna shivered more from the situation than the loss of his warmth on her lower body. She echoed the other woman's sentiment: "Jesus."

"I'm sorry. Oh my God, I'm _so_ sorry."

"Mom!" he shouted as he searched for the covers; but they were out of reach, almost down by the bed by the time his mother apologized some more, eventually covered her eyes and walked back into the kitchen.

Donna got a good look at his thick and tough-looking cock, swinging gloriously between his legs knowing very well she wouldn't be able to help him out in the desire department now.

"You weren't supposed to –" he began, still yelling as he grabbed the covers to go close the Japanese doors.

"You said nine, Harvey! It's nine thirty!" Lily Specter shouted back.

"Give us a minute," he said before looking back at Donna.

"Take all the time you need." Donna heard Lily shout one last time before adding, "It's nice meeting you, Donna."

The redhead thought she was about to pass out.

Harvey left Donna no time to question the next step as he grabbed her by the hand, yanked her out of bed and led her in the direction of the bathroom. She was still too stunned to protest anyway.

"Your mother's in the other room," she stated, suddenly feeling the depth of her embarrassment.

"I know," he stated, applying some toothpaste on his tongue and continued speaking even though it saturated his speech. "I invited her for breakfast last night."

"And completely forgot to tell me, apparently." She crossed her arms protectively.

"I'm sorry but we were kinda busy and I forgot she was coming," he paused, using his index finger to brush his teeth.

"Oh you forgot… just like that." Donna was on the verge of hysteria.

"I had other things on my mind than my mom coming over to be honest," he stated. His fingertips should have looked like prunes by then. Fingers that were brutal, invasive all the while tender barely five minutes ago.

"Men," she scoffed. Disgusting and yet so fucking sexy. She called it upon herself to get a grip. Donna shook her head. It wasn't sexy; she was just still high from the whole Harvey Specter package.

"Aren't you gonna use a toothbrush?" She gestured at her teeth.

He rolled his eyes, annoyed and grabbed a toothbrush. He was in such a hurry that he slid the shower door in one go, walked under the spray and turned it on. "Don't step in yet. It's a cold shower," he said as a million droplets of water started streaming down his sculpted body. He shivered, shaking his head fast And then he laughed, toothbrush handle stuck between his teeth. Specter looked _spectacular_ once again; she should have hated this – that damn boyish smile. But in truth, she felt like the luckiest woman on earth.

Donna's eyes locked on the trail of wet hair between his pecks and stopped at the dark hair around his groin. He grabbed his erection with his free hand and sighed in relief as it subsided. He was beaming as if the day couldn't get any better even though he was literally dampening his enthusiasm, the cold water cutting his blood flow.

Her face immediately softened at the idea that he wanted to look presentable and she smirked, pointing at his junk. "I really don't know how I should feel about that."

"Stop staring." He tilted his head to the side, fake-scolding her. He relaxed and started brushing his teeth again; front, back and then sideways, until he switched the shower knob to a warmer temperature. He spat the toothpaste, washed his mouth and toothbrush and then placed it on a shelving unit. "Come here," he gestured for her to take his hand and step over the threshold.

"Don't you think it's best we take our showers separately?" She cast a skeptical eye.

"We're in a hurry," he said with a mischievous smile. "Besides, I have over twelve years of experience keeping in check around you."

He didn't wait for her reply and just pulled her in with him, her chest colliding with his. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the water. "Good morning," he said, running his hand up her spine, under her hair and then grasped her neck before pressing his lips to hers slowly.

She could have objected that now her hair was wet but she didn't care, it felt too good to be in his arms like this. His own mother wasn't in the other room and definitely not waiting impatiently for an explanation. All of his omissions forgotten for a moment as a mixture of minty saliva and water slimed her tongue.

"Better?" He broke the kiss, obviously talking about his breath.

"Yeah," she giggled, her nose brushing against his before angling her head to meet his mouth again. Donna latched on. It was inevitable because he made her feel younger – it felt like making out for the first time; raw, searching for what each other liked only with actual skill. She grabbed onto his pulse point, checking his vitals to make sure this wasn't a dream.

They exited the shower a few minutes later. She went to pick up her own towel on the bed. As he dried himself off and looked for clothes, she inspected his back. She'd clawed her way out of herself for certain, digging her nails into him like that. Donna didn't feel particularly good about it. He hadn't said anything so she dropped it.

They both got dressed, she in her dress from last night while he chose to go with a pair of black trainers and a white shirt.

"Are you sure you're okay with me meeting your mom?"

"Why? Are you planning on escaping through the window?" She could sense the thought might have crossed his mind.

"I'll take that as a no," she bluntly stated, not particularly happy with his answer.

"No, I'm not and you know it but not because I don't want you to," he explained more gently, locking eyes with her as he put on his shirt.

Another omission laid in there but she decided not to press for more answers. For, in spite of everything, they were still on shaky grounds.

As soon as he was done he said, "There's a blow-dryer in the closet."

"Thanks."

"You want me to wait for you?"

"No, I still need to brush my teeth… and put some make-up on," she said, zipping the back of her dress up. "I'll be right with you."

"Okay." He nodded before sliding the door open and joined his mother. She needed some room to breathe, relax and find her footing – without him. It was a question of balance. Surely he could understand that.

Harvey slid the Japanese doors shut behind him to allow Donna some privacy. He took a good look at the room, his clothes had been neatly folded on the armchair, the whisky bottle and glass back on the tray. He noticed his mother was on the balcony, outside.

She was over the phone. He knocked on the glass to tell her she could come back inside. "I made quite the entrance, didn't I?" Lily cringed.

He chuckled, "That you did."

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"That's okay," he said as he pulled her into a hug.

"You still have the cutest booty by the way."

"Mom," he whined, picturing himself in diapers.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry," she chuckled. "But I had to stare at something; it was out of respect for your girlfriend."

He couldn't help but chortle quietly as he disentangled himself from her, rubbing her shoulders lightly. "Can you try not to bring up the elephant in the room?"

"You mean the redhead in your bedroom?" She smirked.

"How did you know it was her?" He asked, still dumbfounded at the idea.

"Your brother mentioned she was a tall, fierce-looking redhead. And you left her for me last night, so I did the math," she shrugged. "I'm so happy for you, Harvey."

"Don't…," he warned, shaking his head to object.

"Are you still pretending you don't have feelings for her after what I've just witnessed?" she pressed, almost laughing at the irony.

"That's not what I'm saying…" he sighed and licked his lips. "She is everything you said she was last night. But it's complicated."

Lily searched his wavering stare. "No, it's not. You have to commit to her if she's the one, Harvey."

That was it. He thought he'd be able to keep this inside for some other time but she'd hit the one spot that would set him ablaze. "Is that why you gave me Dad's watch? To remind me of how committed you were? So don't talk to me about commit–"

She slapped the turned-bitter word out of his mouth. He brought his palm to his cheek and stared brazenly into her watery eyes. "How dare you? After everything we've been through and the time it took us to forgive each other?"

"How did you expect me to react, huh? You had no right to keep it." He kept his voice low but he was fuming inside.

"I didn't keep it away from you. I needed some time to –"

He cut her off bitterly. "Let go?"

"To grieve, Harvey!" She practically yelled. "And may I remind you that you've seen me wear it before and you haven't said anything."

"Because…" He was searching for words he couldn't find. He had a reason; he was sure of it. But his mind went ballistic first and then blank trying to find them.

"I wear it Harvey because no matter what you think, I always loved him. And I had just as much right as you to do so."

"Not after what you did, you didn't." He hated himself for bringing up the same old accusation; he looked so far from the lawyer that he was at this moment.

"I thought it would remind you of him." She took a step back and frowned at the realization. "Not me."

"Well it did," he said, clenching his eyes shut to calm down. "And it's definitely not helping me trust myself around Donna."

"But you should, Harvey, you're not –"

"Like you?" He bit the inside of his cheek. "You're right, I'm not. But because of you, I'm afraid to commit to the only woman I want."

"You know what? Deep down, I'm sure you're glad I gave you his watch. Because not only was it one of his most precious items, it says how much I loved him." She pingponged her way between him and the bedroom door. "But, you probably went through something huge last night and even though I know nothing of your relationship with her, it must be the reason why you're just looking for excuses – or someone to get pissed off at other than yourself."

"Are you done?" He asked really wishing she'd drop it.

"Yes," she let out.

"Okay," he uttered, trying to slow down his heartbeat. They remained silent for a while.

"How's your cheek?" She asked, slightly concerned.

"It's fine, I deserved it," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I feel awful about it; I don't even remember slapping you before."

"Yeah, you did," he admitted. "Once."

It seemed to be coming back to her. "Right… that time."

"Didn't stop me from loving you," he admitted.

"And do you? Still?"

"Yes… always." He cleared the air around them.

She moved closer to him and brought her hand close to his cheek. "Just –"

He cut her off before she could say anything that would endanger their newfound status quo. "We're good. Don't worry. But no more advice. About anything."

"But!" she interjected.

"Don't want to hear it." He covered his ears with his palms.

Lily chuckled and lifted her hands in front of her to show she was giving up. "Okay, okay. Fine, I'll stop."

Harvey walked over to the kitchen shelves, rummaged through the fridge and realized he'd forgotten to buy some essentials. This day couldn't get any better indeed. He scratched his tousled hair.

"You forgot to buy food, didn't you?" Lily asked.

"I thought I'd go this morning before you'd arrive," he explained. First the napkins he thought, now this. "Damnit, So not gonna to hear the end of it," he mumbled under his breath.

She walked up to him, harboring a mother-knows-best look on her face. "I see you have some bread over there. I can make some French toast if you want. I just need some eggs and sugar."

"I don't have any eggs," he cringed.

"What are you waiting for? Run to the store."

"I know what you're doing. You want to be alone with Donna."

"What kind of mother would I be if I didn't?" Lily grinned deviously.

Harvey hesitated for a moment. But getting some eggs was also the best way to clear his head.

* * *

Donna had heard some heated words being exchanged which she didn't know what to make of. And for once, she didn't want to eavesdrop so she took care of her hair instead; the blow-dryer working as a sound barrier of some sorts.

She'd been staring aimlessly at the mirror in front of her until she heard a door closing with a loud bang. Straightening her dress, she walked out the bedroom. Lily turned around from behind the countertop, kitchen towel on the ready and smiled from ear to ear: "Hi again! I'm making some coffee. Harvey will be right back; he had to go fetch some eggs."

The two women gave each other a good ten-second once over in a silent understanding.

"Hi," Donna said, processing all of Lily's information – choosing to take her at her word. The redhead didn't know if Harvey not being present made the situation better or worse.

"Do you need some help?" Donna asked.

"Do you know how to make _Pain Perdu_?"

"Nope," she admitted. But Lily didn't seem to be judging her for it.

"It's funny, I used to be unable to tell a pot from a pan until I had Harvey," Lily chuckled nervously.

"I for one can tell between the two," Donna arched a brow at the woman's strange body language.

Lily gripped the edge of the opposite counter, turned around and apologized. "I'm sorry, I don't know how to do this properly after…"

"After the unspeakable." Donna's lips turned into a smile at Lily's reaction.

"Let's start again, shall we?" Lily suggested, offering Donna her hand over the counter. "Hi, I'm Lily Specter. Harvey's mom."

"Donna… Donna Paulsen," she said, shaking the woman's hand. Donna Paulsen –undefined everything. The shook hands for a while.

"This still feels weird, doesn't it?" Lily cringed.

"Sort of," Donna said, still holding the woman's hand.

"My father stumbled upon me and Gordon once," Lily explained. "Traumatized me for life."

"No way," Donna frowned. "You're just saying this to make feel better."

"I kid you not. And years after that he wouldn't enter a room – whoever I was in with at this point – without knocking," Lily finished. That broke the ice for they both burst out laughing.

Donna heaved a sigh of relief and sat on the stool opposite Lily as she checked the coffee pot.

"Coffee?" she offered.

"Yes, please."

Lily handed Donna the warm drink and then poured one for herself.

"Could you pass the vanilla syrup that's on the top shelf?" Donna asked.

Lily glanced over her shoulder, a baffled look on her face – the same as Harvey's when he was impressed with something she did or when she piqued his interest. "What?" Donna smiled shyly.

"Nothing," Lily said passing her the syrup. Donna could feel the woman's piercing stare all over her as she poured its content.

"I'm just… The last time I was in town, Harvey took his coffee with vanilla. And I asked him why," Lily paused, thinking. "He just shrugged and moved on to some other topic but… it raised quite a few questions."

"He tends to do that," Donna remained vague, awaiting Lily's actual question.

"It's annoying."

"You're telling me," Donna chuckled.

Pacing behind the counter and toying with her glasses, it seemed Lily was searching for the best way to speak her mind. She eventually sighed and put her hands in her back pocket. "See, Harvey doesn't talk about you. All I know, I know from Marcus. And hadn't you called last night, I wouldn't have known it was you this morning."

"I guess there wasn't much to talk about," Donna took a sip from her coffee, trying to hide the hurt inside of her.

Lily turned adamant. "And I think the reason he never brought you up in conversation is precisely why there is everything to talk about." Donna felt cornered.

"The vanilla… It's because of you, isn't it?"

Lily was quite observant and acting like every-day-life Donna Paulsen; desperate to know by any means necessary. Donna swallowed, "Guilty as charged."

"I'm sorry, Donna… I know this surely is making you feel uncomfortable but…" Lily gulped nervously, "we had a fight again just before you came in because I still don't know how to act around him –"

"It's okay, Lily," Donna reassured her. "I understand wanting to know more than anyone."

"I've missed so many years of his life..."

"And you have many questions," Donna finished for her.

"Yes."

Donna's lips quivered. "I don't have all the answers, Lily. And it may not even be my place to say."

"Harvey won't care because I know for a fact he's too much in love with you to." Donna had to give props to Lily; she knew how to argue a case.

"What makes you say that?" Donna narrowed her eyes at the woman before her.

"Well, not only is it written all over his face but he confirmed it while you were –"

Donna interrupted her, recognizing the very side-way glance she'd passed on to her son. "No, it's something else; something you're not telling me. What's _really _making you say that?"

Lily sighed in defeat. "Harvey hated vanilla as a kid."

A shadow passed over Donna's eyes similar to the one of last night. Only for the first time, there was some actual light coming through for Lily's words carried more than the idea of love; they carried reassurance.

"So…" Lily sat down on the opposite bar stool, coffee in hand. "Maybe you could start with how you two met?"

* * *

STN

STN

Thanks again for all of the reviews, likes and cheers. :) I hope you enjoy this one. Same usual drill: don't hesitate to leave your thoughts, likes and wants. :) Driving all day tomorrow, probably won't have time to write but we'll see. Have a nice day / evening you all.

Bew0G at your chucklebutt-and-vanilla?

Sincerely,

B


	6. Chapter 6

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (still very much unbeta-ed - so sorry for the wait)_

_**Chapter 6: The nights weren't long enough.**_

_"So…" Lily sat down on the opposite bar stool, coffee in hand. "Maybe you could start with how you two met?"_

Meanwhile, Harvey had no idea how his Mom did it. She was never cold. He'd rushed outside – leaving his mother and Donna alone, together in his 21st floor Penthouse – with the sweater he'd left on the couch the night before. And he was freezing. It was clean and foreign to his lover-imbued skin. Maybe he was coming up with something for he shivered as he exited onto Cooper Square.

Breathing that distinct Autumn air in New York was his favorite kind of day-off morning. He stared off into the streets, grey buildings and various corners. His bay window view onto Williamsburg Bridge had never felt so common compared to that of Donna's, making one with the glass – making one with him. From the sidewalk, his neighborhood looked taciturn compared to what was waiting for him at his place. But from a day-dreamer's gaze, the Fall had never looked so yellow and auburn – strawberry and blonde.

She'd changed the course of their coming together; she'd made him think, want and reconsider. And reconsider more as he jogged his absent-minded feelings to her place. Harvey was fighting his cold environment and heart by exercising; he felt warmer the moment he saw the Washington Square trees.

Faded greens, reds and yellows welcomed him. Did she have any idea how many times he'd ran like mad over to her apartment – that ten minute distance he'd never brought to full completion – and stopped? Rushing back to his place? The faintest grin would grace her lips every time she just brought up how he used the car too much. Blocking the New York Code of noise and getting stuck in an undelaying traffic was what he did best for it had always and simply been the fastest way to get away from making that twelve-year-old mistake all over again.

Staring at her building, he decided he'd grab the eggs on the way home and then, took out his phone.

* * *

"No, he didn't," Lily laughed.

"I kid you not," Donna retorted.

"But you aren't a wingman, you're a woman," Lily emphasized.

The redhead sipped on her coffee before pointing at herself. "And a magnet."

"He'd been with… once." Lily flushed with embarrassment.

Donna twisted her double ring. "It didn't matter to us."

"Honey, it always does."

Donna didn't have it in her to fight that. She'd been telling the story of her relationship with the woman's son for the better part of thirty minutes. She tensed up at the idea that this conversation had nothing to do with that six year old Halloween party anymore.

"They were jealous of you,"

"Probably," Donna shrugged.

"You distinctly knew this. Maybe some part of you enjoyed it; that these women could think you were the competition. And that they wanted to go against you while still asking for advice on how to get him."

"It was right after I'd broken up with an old boyfriend." Donna hadn't mentioned the Stephen Huntley fiasco; this part of her life she had classed as dreary hazard.

"I don't understand how you two never ended up together on one of those nights," Lily admitted, blinking a couple of times. "Or even considering you were working side by side all the time."

"He got back with Scottie some time later anyway." Donna's eye contact with Lily was shifty at best.

"The on-and-off girlfriend you spoke of before, was it?" Lily pressed her lips together.

Donna nodded in agreement. "She wasn't perfect. But she was one of the good ones for certain. And he loves her."

"Loved," Lily corrected.

"I don't think it works that way."

"I think in his case, it does," Lily explained. "See, when Harvey was about sixteen years old, he told me – and those were his exact words – no one dies out of love. I knew it had something to do with the fact that I was cheating on Gordon. I just couldn't put my finger on what he exactly meant."

"Another Harvey Specter certainty," Donna quipped.

"Yeah, I think I tried correcting him on his grammar at some point but he was adamant," Lily chuckled and then pondered her next words. "He wasn't only protecting his father, he was protecting himself too. And even by lying for me, he…"

"Protected you in spite of the fact that you were responsible," Donna concluded.

Lily sniffed back a tear.

"I'm sorry… Lily." Donna felt sorry for the woman.

As she was looking everywhere but at Donna, shoulders slumped, the various steps gnawing at Lily's cardiogram contaminated Donna's soul. Both heartbeats and, synapses, increased in rhythm throughout deafening realization.

"I busted his ability to open up, Donna." Lily choked on the redhead's name and put her hand over her mouth. "To love without ever having to hold back."

Donna thought back to the night before and how he hadn't been afraid. She never thought she'd utter these words to the mother before her. There are certain acts no one can get cured from. "He loved me last night, Lily."

Lily tilted her head back and looked at Donna as if she were seeing a ghost. The redhead's expression remained serious even though she felt as if she'd overstepped her bounds. But then a smile slowly creeped up on the older woman's face and Donna tried to contain the laughter that was coming. She chuckled nervously instead. "I hope I didn't –"

"You didn't," Lily said, stopping Donna from apologizing. "It sounds like you're the best thing that's ever happened to him."

"Donna? Mom? I'm back." they both heard Harvey come inside. The sound of keys being placed on the hallway table told them their conversation was essentially over.

Harvey walked up to them and his eyes darted to the two women seated at the counter. "I'm sorry I'm late; something came up."

Donna stared right back at him as if she'd been clutching the breaks for too long. Two pairs of eyes caught each other raw – like in the headlights of a fast car. Slow. Frozen on the spot. No velocity whatsoever and by her own volition at that. Their private communication was brought to a twitching standstill. He looked flushed, sweating a bit. Standing from afar, he said, "Hey."

"Hey," she said back. No steps towards her, no hand on her cheek or even one stupid kiss. His eyes flickered past her and back to his mother.

He pulled out the eggs from a plastic bag and walked up to the counter, "I got you some eggs."

Lily checked her watch. "It is now almost 10:30. Let's make some _Pain Perdu_!"

* * *

Some fifteen minutes later, they were finally eating. Donna complimented Lily on her cooking skills way too much not to signal how nervous she actually was. Especially considering Harvey had barely uttered a single word. At least he'd sat down next to her. How could barely an hour apart have changed the atmosphere so much? She had questions; and platitudes. Empty words and silence weren't going to delay them long enough.

"So… what came up?" Donna asked him.

"Nothing much, I just made a few phone calls about your apartment," he admitted, slicing one of his toasts.

"Who did you call?" Donna asked, staring at him picking up a slice.

"An expert and some movers for your clothes and essentials." He chewed on his food.

"And where are they going to move them to exactly?" She pressed.

He dropped his fork.

"Have you even thought this through?" She let out.

"What did you guys talk about?" He asked, picking the cutlery back up.

She hated Harvey being Harvey – evasive and stubborn.

"Well, Donna told me how you two met and –" Lily couldn't finish for Donna wasn't.

"Why didn't you let me in on this?"

"Here, okay?" He blurted out, hitting the break on his emotional cogs. "Some of them at least," he sighed, scratching his head.

"You should have asked me first."

"In case you hadn't noticed, we spent the night together last night. Therefore –"

"Therefore what? I'm obligated to stay the nights now?"

"Obligated? No. But I doubt you don't want to."

"You're right I do but not when I can sense something's wrong with you."

"Okay, you know what?" He began, pushing his dish aside.

"Maybe I should go," Lily interjected.

"I've always said Donna knows this, Donna knows that. Well that sixth or seventh whatever sense of yours? Sometimes, it's just bullshit."

"Oh, it's bullshit? Well as I recall, it got you out of some pretty fucked up shit in the past. But I get it. When it's about us, you just don't want it."

"You're damn right I don't want it! Especially when it comes between us," he yelled.

"Harvey, I'm going," Lily repeated, louder this time.

"Nonsense, Mom," Harvey took a bite of his food. It must have tasted different somehow for what he said next unnerved Donna even more. "Can you pass the vanilla syrup, please?"

"That's it, I'm going," Donna let out, rising up from her stool. She swallowed staring at Lily for a moment; hoping for an acknowledgment of some sort. As soon as she got the soothing nod from the older woman, she went to the bedroom and closed it behind her.

Harvey closed his eyes, definitely fuming internally.

"You can get your own damn syrup yourself, Son," Lily said before moving to pick up her stuff.

"You don't have to go, Mom," he said, releasing his fork from his hard grip once more.

"Yes, I do. Because you can be one stubborn adolescent sometimes," Lily huffed. "You realize you didn't even greet her properly? You just entered a relationship with her for God's sake." She quickly put her coat on and grabbed her bag.

"She's angry because I didn't run my decision by her, that's what's going on," he sighed.

He could sense her halting. Her stillness and pause were heavy reminders of the malaise between his desire to build and eager to destroy what was most precious to him. He felt his mother's soft lips on his cheek.

"You two are the most closed off people I've ever seen. Therefore I wouldn't trust her words more than yours."

"You met her an hour ago and you think you know her?"

"I'm not pretending I do, Harvey."

"Then mind your own business."

She rubbed his shoulder and added: "I think you fell for her the day you met her. And you're acting like an overprotective boss for reasons I _do_ think are none of my business."

He stared at the cupboards in front of him wishing he could hit the wall and crush the headache inside of his head. "And as her boss, I never had to tell her a thing; she just knew."

"This is a nice story, Harvey. But you have _that kind_ of history."

"I want her to stay."

His mother was a voice. "I know… just talk about it with her."

"The way I feel about her… it's not right, it's –"

"Uncontrollable?"

"More like a years-in-the-making friendship… with a drawn-up plan that we shredded last night. And it's not fair to her." He was well aware that his explanation made no sense to anyone but him. Thinking about his words was a wince-fest on occasion. He couldn't bear to look at his mother for his embarrassment must have been written all over his face.

"Because…"

He inhaled sharply. "Because now that she's opened that door again…"

"Why are you making this her fault?" Lily's voice broke.

"I don't know what to say or how to react to my own goddamn feelings!" He broke in return, swallowing his pride.

"Welcome to the land of beating hearts, Harvey. You're gonna have a blast," Lily patted his shoulder and walked away.

Before she closed the door, he heard her say loud enough for the entire apartment floor to hear: "It doesn't have to feel love by the way for it to already be."

Harvey closed his eyes before standing up and walking to his bedroom. He knocked on it as if it weren't his anymore.

"Don't feel like talking to you right now," he heard Donna say on the other side.

"Good cause I don't feel like talking to you either," he said and waited. And waited until waiting could turn waiting into a comforting habit. The way he was rooting around in his shed of a mind told him how close he was to running out of patience.

She shoved the sliding doors open. A few wrinkles had been added to her forehead. With her head held high and frowning eyes, she stared him down. She tapped her fingers against the edges of each door.

"You heard everything," he said matter-of-factly.

"No, you think?" She shook her head and rolled her eyes. It was a freaking turn on for him.

"I'm sorry," he let out.

"Do you even know why you should be sorry?"

"Thought you'd heard everything." Harvey arched a brow, teasingly.

"Wrong." Donna wasn't in a teasing mood.

"Because like I said," he started, shrugging, "I didn't run my decision by you."

"Wrong again, Harvey." She shed a few tears and gripped the doors' edges.

He frowned unsure of where she was coming from with this. "Then what is it?"

"I'm just supposed to move in…" She clasped her fingers. "Like that?"

"It's just for a couple of nights, Donna," he corrected.

"Is it?" She pressed.

He remained silent; too lost in her eyes as they mirrored his truth.

"It's because it took you one night with me… One night Harvey!" Her grip loosened.

"What is so awful about me wanting to go straight to being with you?" He shouted, frowning.

"Took you one night to ask me to stay." Her voice started breaking. "When every night we got to spend together – working, drinking, talking and comforting each other – I wanted nothing but for you to… see me."

"Without biased views…" He lawyered up for a moment, taking a step forward – carefully taking in the way she was letting go of the sliding doors and closing her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair. "I can assure you…" His Adam's apple bobbed, swallowing the tightness in his throat as if pressing for some inside release. "That I've always seen you that way, Donna," he finished, catching her hand fast before she could walk away from him.

"And now…" He cupped her face, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "I want to show you the nights I had in my head."

* * *

STN

STN

STN

I know this is a short chapter but I've been working (real life) so much, I thought, hell I should just post what I have. I promise you'll get the next chapter sooner. I'm sorry I had to keep you guys waiting but I don't have a choice right now, life's hectic with me. I hope this chapter is all right. Let me know. You know I can always edit it again.

Thx to all of you who reviewed and for the support. As usual, your reviews are very welcome.

Yours,

B


	7. Chapter 7

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (still very much unbeta-ed)_

**Chapter 7: WE JUST GO WHERE THE NIGHT IS.**

"_Without biased views…" he lawyered up for a moment, taking a step forward – carefully taking in the way she was letting go of the sliding doors and closing her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair. "I can assure you…" His Adam's apple bobbed, swallowing the tightness in his throat as if pressing for some inside release. "That I've always seen you that way, Donna," he finished, catching her hand fast before she could walk away from him._

"_And now…" He cupped her face, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "I want to show you the nights I had in my head."_

His body felt like home but wasn't for rent. All too prone to cling to him on the spot, she countered: "It's not dark yet."

"I have shutters." He smirked.

The more he stroked her face, the more Donna felt her guard break and her heart's concerns unfold. As he rested his forehead on hers, his mouth – barely inches from her adamant one – caught her trembling lips, speaking for her, speaking for him and soothed the unknown. Donna felt the promise of a lifetime with him being sealed with desire. This was this man's grand gesture – the man who used small but threatening words to convey breath to reality. His own; thinking his soft and lingering kiss would quiet the fear down. Seeking and tasting ordinary life from the opening that allowed her to breathe, drink and eat – like a couple destined to live out the rest of their lives together.

But like the nights to come, she couldn't bear the thought of him taking charge of the days too. This was still an issue. For skin against skin led the blind, she pulled out from the kiss.

"Wait," she let out as his lips came in contact with her chin.

She stared aimlessly at the ceiling, fighting the desire inside, still feeling his breath on her skin.

"What is it?" He pleaded.

She shuddered. "Nothing, it's just…"

He began rubbing her shoulders lightly. "I'll admit this might feel like I'm rushing this but –"

"We're high on endorphins, Harvey…" Her words were reedy and muted like viola chords being struck: momentary blissful chemicals cheating the truth.

He took a step back and she gasped at the loss of contact. "Let me get this clear…" He put his hands on his hips. "You came onto me last night."

She threw him a look that dared him to continue on this path, crossing her arms around herself protectively. "Are you sure you want to stick to that turn of phrase?"

His face turned into a warning sign. "Oh don't act like you didn't play a part in this."

"Fine!" She conceded.

"You said," he began slowly and practically whispering, "we should take care of what's been eating at us –"

"We needed sex!" Donna leaned forward with open arms.

"Oh so now it's just sex… ergo one big lapse in judgment," he scoffed in disbelief.

"I didn't say we should move in together!"

"You're putting words in my mouth." He licked his lips. "I said I want to be with–"

"To-may-to, to-mah-to!" Donna let out with one raised eyebrow.

"Will you ever let me finish a sentence for crying out loud?" He half-roared at her, a small smile gracing his lips at her eagerness to push his buttons.

She took a moment to breathe and finally smiled, her playful gaze shining through half-lidded eyes. "What would be the fun in that?"

"Maybe you'd get some answers?" Harvey challenged.

"You don't answer, Harvey. You play the man –"

He cut her off with a rather dashing and convincing piercing stare. "It's different when _he_ is a woman."

"Until," she continued, sighing from his adamant playboy behavior, "you get what you want.

Harvey took a deep breath and cocked his head. "You closed me last night, Donna."

Rigid and pressing her lips together, she countered: "Because I love you and you were in pain. I wanted… needed you to feel something else."

"And you," he began, crawling back into her comfort zone, initiating his sexiest eye contact again. The kind that made her head spun and knees quiver. "You took it upon yourself to ambush me."

Her eyes crinkled. "And you expect me to stay over after saying something like this to me?"

"If you hadn't, I would have rushed to that room myself," he blurted out with a touch of a smile. He tilted his head to the side, lips lifting into a smirk. "Crawled into that bed and…"

She shook her head, unimpressed with his verbal efforts. "You wouldn't have."

"Just because you cut the ground from under me doesn't mean I could have gone on without touching you." He circled her waist slowly. More out of surprise than shock, Donna instinctively rested her palms on his forearms, the docile hair on them – a smooth bark, she could easily see her herself wanting rough, raised and ready.

She breathed in trying to find her footing again for the conversation was disorganized. His whole body was heat as if she were walking barefoot or in this case rolling nude on the sand. But it was their intimacy, with every tortuous touch that so easily derailed her from rationality. It was funny to her that she had to steer back to reality, away from her own pretenses.

She put her own arms around his neck. "You're right, Harvey. I needed to have you."

He prided himself in being proud of her straightforwardness, she could tell as he thrusted his jaw forward. "I'm so glad you did what you did," he breathed out.

His broad smile could have fooled any women. But she wasn't any of them. She knew pride too; fancy rules to hide one's feelings. Like when he'd said it to make her feel better. Every time it wasn't time to address anything. Deafening acceptance and dreadful sights to behold when her help was the last thing he wanted. Like the worn-out dress she would never wear in the morning, Donna decided a long time ago that it was best to go toe-to-toe with him looking fabulous until undressing was her last resort.

She rubbed his arms and shoulders almost frantically, half laughing and sobbing, remembering her antics. "And I looked fabulous in the dark, right?" It was too hard not to touch him. No matter her faith in him, she was afraid. Always afraid of letting go; still very much afraid of losing them.

"You're looking pretty good in my arms right now too," he said with a tender half-hooded look and a tiny hint of a smirk on his lips.

Anchored and enjoying the feeling of his hands roaming about her waist, she realized they didn't talk enough. "When did you know how you loved me?"

Wrinkles spread across his face as his broad I-gotta-love-you smile shrunk to an almost one. "We're talking about sleeping arrangements and this is what you want to know?"

"It has _everything_ to do with what's about to happen," Donna retorted, eyes frozen open.

"And what is about to happen exactly?"

"Me, moving in with you… eventually."

"That I want. But no…" He sounded unwavering even though the vowel faded on his breath. "You don't want the answer to your first question."

Donna's eyes flickered fast and her jaw clenched. She swallowed searching his eyes. _It doesn't have to feel love for it to be_, she remembered hearing Lily say right before she left.

"I want to know," she pressed.

He gulped and softly – looking on the brink of giving up. "You don't."

He'd raised her body back to life and killed their loose routine because she'd acted on instinct. One good look at that gorgeous undressed man and she'd ceased to think; her decade-old restraint being closer to a drug-induced hallucination than a fading memory. Her stare wavered and darted about. "When?"

The vein in his neck pulsed. "You want me to give you one good reason to think I'm an asshole and feel entitled to leave me."

"There's only one problem with your logic Harvey. You know damn well I want to be with you."

"I hated how I felt about you," he shouted.

That answered her 'when'. The vanilla theory was hitting her in full force.

At that point, Harvey didn't seem to care what the wrong or the right was. She hadn't invited this soliloquy. She couldn't have.

"I wanted to have sex with you the second you introduced yourself. You checked every single box. Sexy redhead, tall, breasts, toned curves, long legs, about my age…," he paused, looking at her. "A pretty face; common and adequate at first sight."

"I'm sorry… what?" Donna looked dumbfounded; she'd expected everything from some passive aggressive rant to straight-to-the-point soul searching but this. Self-blame touched her stupefied stare.

He paced around in front of her, not daring to look at her. "Even though your communication skills intrigued me, you could have been empty inside, shallow and stupid… For all I cared and I didn't care for much, I would have still wanted you."

"Jeez… Thanks for the image. Now I'm picturing my younger self brain dead in your bed," Donna shared.

Harvey would have chuckled at her distinctive deadpan wit hadn't her face looked this pale. He searched her face. "I was who I was."

Donna saw concern mixed with pain carving his features.

"An arrogant self-serving son of a –" She stopped herself from conveying the extent of everyone's thoughts on Harvey Specter back in the day. His mother deserved no further involvement. Besides, she had an inkling of where he was going with this. And as far as she was concerned, only a handful of women deserved such labelling and Lily Specter clearly wasn't one of them.

His face, as if confronted to an accused and a juror simultaneously, softened in understanding.

Donna continued: "So… when I was asking about you and your work, you were…"

He smirked. "Planning on getting you tipsy enough to like me and offer you a ride back to your place in the 1965 green mustang. Impress you. And then have you."

She searched his eyes, almost smiling at the thought that despite how cocky he was, it would have worked. She didn't have to like him to fall into bed with him back then.

His aside informed her that maybe things were looking up. "Your favorite club car… I know."

"Why didn't you?"

"I pried the three-letter word out of you."

"Smooth... I remember."

"And you said no."

"I didn't want to have sex with you for professional reasons."

"And if I'd just been some anonymous hotshot?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Maybe… if I'd seen the mustang," she smiled.

"Liar," he smiled back.

She rolled her eyes. "You know that's not fair. You were any reasonable woman's freaking fantasy in a suit."

"So now I'm a man-whore?"

"I'm adequate, remember?"

Harvey drew a sharp breath. "Point taken. But in my defense, I'm not done explaining –"

"How you hated how you felt about me, yeah," she shook her head in disbelief. "Somehow I'd almost forgotten about that!"

"You said you wanted to work for me, so sex _had_ to be off the table." he sighed.

"Look how that turned out!"

He moved closer to her and grabbed her hands; cold to the touch and practically pulseless. "You laid all your cards on the table and…" he chuckled, "from the get go, asked for some time-off."

"I should have asked for more," she quipped. She was lost in thought between auditions and everything with him.

"You were out of this world."

"Harvey…"

"You said you wanted to give your all to me, barely asking for anything in return."

Years of them – photographic like moments – were passing her by. Unable to close her eyelid, sensing a threat of tears, she listened to him attentively.

"And you did. And that was it. We grew together, learned everything we could, testing the waters. I didn't think I deserved it. I would have given a girlfriend the world for that. Instead I got a secretary. Not any secretary… but _just_ a secretary."

She let the words flow louder than the rivulets of tears streaming down her eyes. "For better or for worse, you did give me the better part of it, Harvey."

"Have I? Really?" He got angry at himself. "Really?" Harvey repeated, the rhetorical question crushing his heart. "You were nothing like them. You were definitely nothing like her. And I messed up and I – _hated_" he paused, chocking on the word, self-loathing evident on his tongue, "that it never felt platonic with you."

He let go of her hands and forgot how to use his. Looking like a jumping jack pulling his own strings, Harvey roamed standing still. With clenched jaw and fists, he failed fending off the sensation of his brown orbs burning red. They drowned in a salty sea of self-hate.

"Harvey… I'm sorry I pressed you for an answer. I didn't think…"

"You asked me when I knew… There's never been a moment. It was just there. It's in the way you walk and talk. Your confidence, your faith in me; how you smile… in the way you look. How you warned me about Forstman and Denis, how you winked for Mike... It's how I hated vanilla before you. It's in the mistakes you made because they gave me a chance to be the one who mattered most to you. It's in everything you did and didn't do."

"You remember that?" She gasped.

"Remember what?"

"About Mike."

"That's the thing about you Donna. You're always up here," he said, pressing his index finger on his temple.

"Harvey," she said tentatively.

"And mommy issues aside, I knew what I was doing to you –"

"You didn't do anything, Harvey."

"I lied. What we had wasn't normal. Don't you see?" He paused, wetting his lips to find whatever strength he had left. "It was never professional."

"No, Harvey," she jumped the invisible barrier between them. "It was me who said no."

"I didn't ask the right question after you and I had slept together."

"_I_ said there should be a rule. _I_ said no without giving you any opening." She cupped his face. "Look at me."

He swallowed back the onslaught of words and whipping wounds he was about to unleash. Donna held onto this beautifully broken man who'd devoted the better part of a decade seeking the platonic in them when it couldn't have been. "I said no."

His breathing intensified as he rested his forehead on hers, rubbing her shoulders as if he were forgiving her. "I don't blame you for it."

"I know you don't." she sighed and put her arms around his neck, needing him closer. "Do you know when I knew?"

He looked tired as if he already knew the answer.

"No, Harvey…" she shook her head. "It wasn't when I kissed you. It wasn't even when I asked you how you loved me and you wouldn't answer."

He closed his eyes at the memory and how time seemed to be running out on him, which had prompted him to say some of the most hurtful things he'd said to her.

"It hit me when I said yes to coming to work for you. And maybe it felt different at times when I was with Mark or the other men in my life but it… would hit me again," she laughed nervously, "maybe a tiny bit harder, every time you were in a relationship. Because I wasn't doing or accepting any of this for me, it was about you. About seeing you being happy."

"I wasn't."

"So maybe you're not the only one who fucked up here."

They gave away each other's wet stares, freed souls for a while. They both knew this wasn't the kind of talk that could be undone. They held each other's monster of truths, tightly and unsure of when or if to let go until a slant of sunlight touched their frames.

Harvey tilted his head back and breathed in intensely, pulling her closer to him. "What do you say we go outside?"

Donna bit her bottom lip before nodding. "I'd like that."

Harvey told her to grab her coat as he put his on. He didn't remember grabbing his keys even though he had. She couldn't remember waiting for the elevator to arrive on his floor despite the click of her heels hitting the marbled lobby floor. They'd barely exchanged any words, the volume of the greatest love tunes inside them too loud to cloud their essence as a couple with novelty, inexperience, sweaty palms and pretense. And as they walked outside, fingers entwined as if they'd never seen the day, they began mixing tunes, singing to each other with looks and platitudes about their surroundings. One bleak street corner after another, she would walk ahead, teasing him to catch her. Their coats and scarves kept them warm enough until they both felt the distance could have bridged the gap between autumn and winter. She in beige, him in grey like a king and a queen, paired but mismatched to the outside world. Never hailed by traffic nuisances, they inflated a bubble of mirth around them as they went. There was an aura of truth to their laughter and joy – Harvey jumped the distance once, hugged her and spun her around the pavement. Some passersby smiled at them, some rolled their eyes while others scoffed. It was in those moments that they felt years younger, snickering and behaving like they mattered more than everything else. Harvey had settled his mind on stopping at Grammercy Park, proudly holding the access key in his hand.

"Aren't those for nearby residents only?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"I know a guy." He smirked.

"A guy, huh?"

As they held each other, Specter and Paulsen reveled in the idea of being crowned as misfits by jealousy walking them by. He was on the verge of kissing her when she put a stop to it.

"Let's walk all the way to Central Park."

He pointed his index finger at her feet. "It's a one-hour walk at least. You really want to go in these shoes?"

"I know a guy." She imitated him.

"A guy, huh? Is that code for let's make a little detour to Fifth?"

"More like the flats in my purse but it sounded more mysterious to say a guy."

"Wait a minute!" He held her off from taking the flats out of her bag. "You've had these in your bags all along?"

"Sorry to crush your stiletto fantasies but my feet aren't made of steel."

"I know that." He sighed but could barely utter his next words.

"Besides, when have we ever walked these streets together?"

"Never," he conceded.

"Can you help me?" she asked, resting her hand on his shoulder to take off one high-heel shoe after the other and replace them with her ballerina flats. He tightened his grip on her waist for what seemed like the longest time, correcting her balance as best as he could. He laughed briefly a couple of times at her antics, making her groan.

"Sorry, I can't help it." He watched her straightening her dress and stepped closer to her. "The great Donna Paulsen is standing before me… only smaller."

"We've moved on from you've been lying about your feet for years to height difference. Wow," she quipped.

"I like this height on you." He placed a lock of hair behind her ear.

Donna felt his light touch deeply. Her face remained impassible however. "This _is_ my normal height."

He cupped her cheek and quirked an eyebrow. "You know what some say about size?"

"That it matters, yes," she laughed, searching his eyes in an attempt to play with his confidence.

It put a relative end to his thought process, having thrown her a line like this. He chuckled before saying, "Thanks, Donna."

"You're welcome!" She smiled, circling her arms around his neck. "So, what about it?"

"You ruined it," he said, moving away from her before walking in the direction of midtown.

"Oh so now, I'm getting punished because you were _asking_ for it?" She lamented, following him.

He turned around spontaneously. "Punished how?"

She caught up to him. "By not saying or doing whatever it was you were going to say or do!"

"The Truth, _Donna_, must dazzle gradually or every man be blind," Harvey said with narrowed and probing eyes.

Her baffling stare made him smirk. "You know Emily Dickinson?"

"I went to college you know," he shrugged.

With a deadpan expression, she said: "So did I and trust me, I thought my teenage years were wild but now…"

Harvey chuckled before lowering his head slowly, breathing into her neck. He dropped a long kiss, feeling her stand on her toes not to offer but seek that better access – reaching out for his lips. He indulged her by pressing another kiss in the crook of it before moving his mouth to her ear and said: "Wild nights, wild nights!"

"Don't you dare delve into the Dickinson-analysis of us until you've explained the size thing!" she warned him, pressing her hand on his chest to no end. Donna was enjoying his touch a little too much as he lightly sucked on her ear.

"You just did," he said, moving away from her.

"Come again?" She asked, missing his proximity.

"You got taller by yourself for a moment," he stated, holding out his hand to her.

"I got what now?"

The words that followed downed on her. "There is beauty in asymmetry too."

"So all sizes matter in the end," she stated, accepting his hand.

"I regretted using the word size the second I said it," he admitted. "Didn't want to go back on it to give the moment some flair."

"I figured." She smirked.

By the time they started walking again, she could still feel his every word, making up for all of the times she wished she could have acted like this around him. His sulky mood however hadn't vanished. "I can't always come up with beautiful words to convey feelings, you know? 'Took me thirteen just to say I love you. I can't hit it right every time."

She made him stop walking and moved to stand in front of him. She run her hand through his hair before settling her thumb on his cheek and stroked it. "You just did."

And then she pulled him forward. And they walked. Asymmetric until Bryant Park; sometimes his foot was in front of hers, sometimes not. It was way past noon when they decided to share a sandwich. Their time at the park was short for they craved the bigger open space Central Park offered.

His sun-colored flame bravely held onto his hand, asking him to keep up with an impromptu sight-seeing of her favorite places. He checked his phone once and it was all it took for her to set it to airplane mode. She did the same for hers as a sign of good faith. He second-guessed himself for a moment; was he allowed to put his professional armor back on? Act as her lawyer? When all he wanted was for this Saturday to be nothing but unprofessional? She patted the phone in his pocket and led him towards Madison Avenue and he figured it could wait. They stopped at the Corner Bookstore and Donna thought it was appropriate to buy some student edition of Emily Dickinson's poems with analysis and commentaries. Harvey scratched his head that he should have thought his earlier quote through. So far, he didn't think she could look happier. So good, she was with each second.

Leaving capitalistic grandeur, sky-high symmetry, urban nature with faded green, red and yellow leaves brighter in their wake, he realized she was paving the way to where the nights were. With her. Slumbering through his wildest day yet.

Inside the emblematic park, their Fall-foliage walk took them through the Mall where the arching trees were still relatively dressed. They stopped a few times to take in everything: from time, to beauty, to families and couples walking side by side as they were. More than learning how to be around each other, they were accepting their fated status. For better or for worse, they needed each other. Harvey suggested they sit for a while on one of the benches available.

"Put your arms around me," Donna asked, snuggling closer to him and placing her head on his shoulder.

"I would have done it without you needing to ask," he said, grasping her left arm with one hand and pulling her frame close to his chest.

"I had to… she patted his arm," she relaxed into his touch and closed her eyes. "To see the look in your eyes."

He rolled his eyes before snorting.

"Now, what was that poem you quoted again?" She asked, taking the book from her bag and opening it.

He stroked her shoulder. "Tell all the truth but tell it slant?"

"Nah, that one's too obvious. It's about the power of truth. Even I don't need to read the analysis to know that."

"I think I remember studying that it was more complex than that."

"As someone versed in verse drama, I can assure you the analysis is simple when it comes to you. The way you used it earlier was to let me know I don't want piecemeal of everything with you, I want everything unraveled. But you're still afraid, so you want to make the truth about who we are who we should be last. Simple."

"Some say, if I recall," he took the book from her hands and opened it to the poem's analysis. "That it is linked to Emily's relationship or at least one's relationship to God," he corrected as he read.

She looked at him and smiled before adding: "tell me the poem doesn't address the meaning of truth and I'll leave it at that."

He read for the sake of confirmation, even though he knew the outcome. "You're right it does."

"So… am I right to say it's also about you, in the past, taking too long to access your truth – and by that my poetic genius means 'feelings' – because you were afraid?"

Her words jarred him. "Unconventional approach to my psyche, Ms. Paulsen. But I guess I deserved it."

"What? No witty repartee as to how this poem applies to me too?" She asked, surprised.

"Nope," he stated.

"I got blinded by your ass, Mister, remember?"

He chuckled before kissing her temple. "You're that truth, Donna. Whatever it is and I'm happy if you're happy with the idea that the old spinster's words are dictating my every move."

"I like it when you do that," she said.

He didn't say anything and kissed her there again. He'd never been one for such displays of affection but he couldn't help it. They weren't at work. They were just enjoying each other's company, talking, mixing high and low brow to talk about them and nothing in particular.

"I really like this analysis on the truth of enlightenment. I mean, I never thought of it this way actually…" he said, distracted by the book in his hand.

"Read me Wild Nights," she asked softly.

"Oh so, you do remember," he teased.

"Please?"

"Fine," he searched for the poem and began to read. "Wild nights – Wild nights ! Were I with thee"

Donna tightened her grip on his forearm when she felt his warm breath close to her ear.

"Wild nights should be our luxury… Done with the Compass – Done with the Chart!"

Goosebumps coursed through her arms, her chest tightened in anticipation of words mingled so beautifully. Words; some of which could turn into a reflection of their time together.

"Rowing in Eden – ah – the Sea! Might I but moor – tonight – in thee!" He closed the book and put it on his lap and pressed his cheek against the top of her head. "Happy?"

"No, give it to me," she took the book from his lap and opened it back to their current page.

"Are you reading the analysis this time?"

"Hush," she said, straightening herself.

He rubbed her back, feeling her shiver under his touch.

"Ha! So it can be interpreted sexually!"

"Of course it can! It's totally about sex," he stated matter-of-factly.

"No, Mr. Know-it-all, it CAN be interpreted this way. And you were thinking about sex when you quoted it earlier."

"Because it's obvious!" he let out.

"I'm not shitting on your interpretation, I'm just saying, according to the commentaries; it could be about death or spiritual love again."

"Out of context poetry, Donna. That's what it was," he assured her.

"Nothing's that simple with you. You know this one by heart. I could tell you weren't reading it."

"Okay, so when I was," he quoted with his fingers, "not reading it to you, it didn't it make you feel anything."

"That's not what I said…"

"So why ruin the moment? Why do you need to analyze everything?"

She stood up straight. "Because I'm scared Harvey. I'm scared this is too good to be true!"

"Fine…" he stood up and picked up the book and asked, rummaging through the pages, "Ms. Dickinson, did you write any poems on sharing accommodations for two people in love?"

"You're a jerk," she said.

"Am I?" He tilted his head to the side in reassurance. It was rhetorical of course.

She shook her head and shivered some more.

"Come on, it's getting cold, we should walk to warm up."

"I don't want to head back yet."

"I didn't say that." He kept the book with him and took her hand in his again.

They continued their city-bound transcendentalist trek, walking up north in the direction of the Ramble. The exercise did some good to their limbs, warming them up. They were mostly alone as fewer people treaded the woodland walk.

"I don't want you to feel scared," he said, staring at their joined hands.

"I know, Harvey."

"I can't be scared for the both of us," he admitted.

"Sorry about earlier… I," she stopped and made him turn to face her. "I just don't want us spending the nights together thinking this is only temporary; I know you said you don't want it to be but you're my former boss… _and_ my lawyer –"

"That doesn't change –"

"But it _is_ different now!"

"I thought we already had this conversation…"

She let go of his hands abruptly. "I need to feel self-reliant," she cut him off, on the brink of tears. "And I hate myself for calling you last night –"

"I took over your case in a heartbeat, Donna. Nothing could have stopped me, you know it."

Donna she kept pushing. "And tricking you into giving in –"

"You didn't trick me. I _want_ this," he assured her.

"And I feel like I don't know what it's like not to need you," she rambled, pacing around. "And when you recited that poem, I realized how I couldn't separate myself from you." She stopped moving and said with a trembling voice: "There is so much going on right now, Harvey." She could feel her next words getting stuck in her throat. "This is too much."

"Donna – I don't know what to say."

"Then say nothing, Harvey. Please."

He towered over her, massaging his scalp as if he were correcting every upcoming sentence in his head. "I get the sense that I'm both too good for you and yet, not good enough."

"I know you're a good man, Harvey!" Donna countered his argument.

"Whom you need to distance yourself from!" He practically shouted before composing himself. "I get that this is going too fast. So, I suggest we walk back to the street. That'll give you some time to decide where you want to spend the night."

"I knew you'd take it as an insult."

"No, Donna. I'm taking it as a man you just hurt with beautiful words."

(to be continued)

* * *

STN

STN

Sorry again for the months-long wait. Life's been in the way of everything... I really want to finish this fic properly so I hope you liked this chapter even though I know it's not perfect. I wrote more than half of this in one go today and I plan on finishing the fic soon. It's been a while since I've written anything so I hope it's not too bad.

Cheers to all my twitter friends.

By the B-way, I love you.

Yours,

B


	8. Chapter 8

**STAY THE NIGHTS**

_A darvey fanfiction (beta-ed and I got a lot of help from someone who'd rather stay very anonymously colored. Thank you my friend for accepting my crazy self. Also, I almost died last night...xD)_

**Chapter 8: Whiskey and vanilla**

Ray was caller number three on his call list, right under Donna and the renovation company he'd threatened with lawsuits over claims of nothing. Bombarding insults over the phone had never led him anywhere but it bought time. He knew she would still be held liable for not noticing something was wrong with whatever pipes the expert over the phone had babbled on about. He'd get things done for her, he'd help her. It would take some time but she'd get home eventually. Except he wanted her; to share everything from home cooked meals, talks, along with TV and all that jazz. This was all about her coming home in whichever day's dress, feeling comfortable, moving around in the TV light, wearing his t-shirt, wearing nothing and drinking whiskey among other things. Wearing nothing until the morning with every intention of showing her what was on and up his sleeve.

Harvey kept walking as he hit Ray's number. Barely registering the conversation, he walked down the path he knew would lead him towards the closest exit onto the Upper East Side. Harvey wanted beer; buy two twelve packs and drink his blues away. Closer no more – check. He wasn't a gunslinger. She was and she'd shattered his resolve. The latter being sort of unexpected: her – moving in – permanently. Like a wave, it had crashed on him. He didn't want her back in her own apartment. Hell, he'd pay whatever damage, fees, or renovation costs if she could put those commitment issues out of her mind. His go-to drink made him think of her; beer he could associate with Mike, his dad, and baseball. What was he thinking? She was officially everywhere since last night.

He tracked Ray's car a couple of times, following the dot instead of the thoughts hammering each and every brain cell he had. Walk back to her. Walk faster. Walk out. Find her. Take away her free will for once. Give her space. Tell her what she wants to hear. That last night was a mistake. Scream. Have faith in us. Shake those feelings away. Harvey walked faster and faster. He found Ray and realized he'd been walking in circles – avoiding the realization that even at his lowest point, she had him in the palm of her hand. As he got in the car, Ray asked him about waiting for Ms. Paulsen. Harvey frowned.

"She's on the sidewalk," Ray added.

Harvey shifted in his seat and set his eyes on her. She didn't look too pleased. He stared at her a moment too long, saw her sigh and start walking down the pavement. Like an adrenaline shot, a panic-stricken satisfaction hit him to the core. "Leave her. Get me to the closest convenience store."

Ten minutes later, a brown paper bag lay on the passenger seat next to him. This was what he would lean on for the duration of the car ride. Once home, he'd drink all through the evening, hopefully pass out, then close everything inside and skip a night.

He opened the door to his apartment, dropped his keys and the bag on the kitchen island in one go. He couldn't tell what time it was as he discarded his coat on the nearest stool. The night was falling for sure but there was no point in turning the lights on. Dark outside or on the inside, were the two any different? Or just right out poetically similar? There was nothing to look for except slow burn malted barley brewed beverage. He thought about changing into something more comfortable until he realized he was still wearing his trainers. That new sense of style definitely suited his drink-from-the-can mood.

"Bring on the germs, Coors. I'll sue your asses all the way from New York to Colorado before I die." He opened the can and poured as much content as he could into his throat.

Slowly, Donna's puffy eyes ceased to exist. Beer number two turned into beer number three. He was back in the car and she locked eyes with him on repeat. He staggered towards the bathroom, peed right on time, and looked at his junk and not only did it make him feel small but it looked the part. He was a jackass. Expecting her to take a leap just as big as the one she'd taken the night before. On beer number four he watched the purgatory rain outside and thought about calling her. On beer number six he thought about buying a plane ticket to Denver trying to get rid of the bad taste in his mouth. Then he found his shades, put them on and everything turned darker. He dialed a number and said something about moving permanently to Golden, Colorado and setting up shop there. When he opened beer number seven he thought about leaving her a voicemail to tell he couldn't work with her anymore. Instead, he ordered some food. Halfway through beer eight, he checked what time it was. 8 PM. The coincidence made him laugh and he googled how unhealthy drinking six beers in the span of two hours past the age of 45 actually was.

"And… good to go!" he jumped off the floor. Lacking stability, he fell hard on his armrest, cursed and laughed his bruised ass and more off. He bit the inside of his cheek and sought the comfort of the backrest, sitting in the armchair. He closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed. He'd done nothing wrong by giving her what she wanted. He was about to grab another can when his eyes set on the unmade bed. Harvey felt some abdominal pain and steadily came to his senses and figured he should order some food.

"Or have I?" he asked himself as he heard someone knocking at the door.

Harvey opened the door in one swift move and barely managed to catch a brown paper bag being shoved in his chest.

"Here's your Five Guys cheeseburgers with oh wait… a big fuck you on the side for drunk dialing me when I was trying to get you off my mind," she paused, took a look at her hand in her pocket before pulling it out and flipping the bird at him. "And checking into a hotel."

"A hotel, really?" He arched an eyebrow.

She walked past him and exhaled loudly. "You need a shower."

"So do you," he shrugged, shifting on his wobbly legs when he realized he was talking to the open door.

She placed her coat on the coat rack and sighed when she noticed the door was still open. "I'm okay, I just need a towel or something."

"You're so self-reliant you couldn't grab a cab?" He sized her up. Donna was drenched from head to toe; her dress looked wet as well.

"I walked," she sighed, heating some water in a kettle before adding, "remember?"

It cut deep. "That's very domestic, Donna. But food is what I need. You go grab that towel," he said placing the burgers on the island counter. He moved past her to reach the fridge. "Excuse me," he said, bumping into her before opening the door. "Where's the beer?"

"On the countertop –"

"Thank you," he said appreciatively. But the redhead wasn't finished.

"All over your furniture, on the floor, in the air alongside your baited breath… when should I call an ambulance?"

"The trouble with drinking is it ain't no trouble at all." He ruffled through the brown paper bag.

"Shower first. We'll eat after," she explained, shoving the bag aside.

"Right…"

"We need to talk."

"Not tonight we don't, Mary-Sue." Her face, her body and her legs were hotter than a fire on a summer night and he was on the brink of moody, dark, and dangerous behavior. He wanted her to leave him alone and bone her to hell and back at the same time. She could do better than a drunk jackass for sure. It wasn't too different from the last thirteen years.

He took a can from the pack and saw her flinch from the corner of his eyes. Despite how much he wanted to know why she'd bothered to come at all, he needed to forget she was here in the first place.

Harvey watched her move dangerously close to him. He hated that slow strut. Donna sat on the stool beside him. "I'll drag you in there myself if I have to," she warned him nonchalantly while taking off her sneakers.

"Here we go again!" He popped the beer can and lifted it up to his mouth.

"Harvey, stop," she shouted, trying to grab the can from his hand.

The can fell. Harvey cursed, his face grew hard, his breath heavy as it came out in pants. Suddenly he closed the space between them, trapping her on her stool and gripping the counter behind her firmly. His hot breath against her forced her to lean back. If he wasn't Harvey, she'd call it close to menacing and maybe it was frustration speaking behind the action. Everything shifted in her brain. Donna searched his dark eyes, connecting the dots. He'd never cross that threshold. This was Harvey, and his pain being theirs as much as hers, her autopilot kicked in. Her hands – albeit shaking, found his back. She was afraid for him; rubbing her hands on his lower back to soothe the suddenness of it all. To cut through the outburst.

His face shifted. For a man that prided himself on control, Harvey lost control more times than she could count, even with her. Bumping into her shoulder here and there, shouting and pressing where it hurt. This time, he was up close and personal, taking over her space after playing aloof until this point. His face turned to regret. Flooded eyes signaled his pain, and she moved her hands to his neck fast; not knowing what to do. The guilt-ridden expression on his face, the sweat and tears dripping down her thumbs as she stroked his jaw were more terrifying to her than the alcohol-induced lapse of judgment.

"I'm–" he tried but she cut him off.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Harvey," she put his mind at ease, wiping a tear off from under his eye.

Harvey ran his tongue between his lips before gulping, trying to soothe the dryness he had control over and tone down the abrupt. "I'd never lay a hand on you."

"I knew you weren't, Harvey."

His hands were shaking as he backed away from her. Head hanging low, he walked to his bedroom. The shower seemed a small formality by then, Donna thought as she rubbed her shoulders.

* * *

The pain down in his soul had taken over. Even the water wouldn't run fast enough to cleanse how he felt inside. None of those feelings were positive.

He switched the temperature valve to cool. But it wasn't enough. He groaned loudly when a blast of icy cold water hit him. It raced shivers down his spine so vividly he half slipped but managed to use the wall for support and fell on his backside. His skin turned red. He was pretty sure his heart rate was going up and it became harder to breathe.

Harvey was pretty sure he could hear Donna's voice. Something about his teeth. He was so ridden with guilt; he felt powerless. He wanted her to feel safe with him and all he'd been doing was pressure her with ultimatums. Speaking in riddles, waving through blurred lines hasn't helped their case in thirteen years. At least the cold shower would give him a second wind or make him loose consciousness. Harvey was still at a crossroad on this one.

* * *

He wasn't coming out. He'd been in there for at least five minutes. Not that she was counting. Donna was done cleaning up most of his mess. At least it seemed he'd only had beer. Only time would lower the rate of blood alcohol level but the man could take his liquor and the cold shower myth was better than anything else at this point.

Five minutes later, the shower hadn't stopped running. She couldn't take it anymore and rushed to the bathroom. Thankful he hadn't locked his door, she got in and noticed him sitting on the shower floor with his eyes closed.

"Harvey," she shouted, sliding the door open and cursed when she felt the cold water stab her like ice picks. She turned the shower off and kneeled in front of him. She shook his arms and then slapped his chest. Donna was on the verge of slapping him when her name left his lips.

"Donna you can stop," he said, before opening his eyes.

"You scared the shit out of me, you idiot!" Donna let out, stroking his face.

"I'm fine," he reassured her before adding, "fuck, it's cold." He took a quick look at his arms and hands.

"No, you think?" She rolled her eyes.

He smirked at the look she was giving him. He missed her touch the second she stood up.

"Let's get you out of here," she said. But he wasn't moving. "Come on…" she added sighing, "I can't just pick you up and carry you, you know."

"I've got a better idea." Harvey grabbed her waist and pulled her back to him, making sure she'd land on his lap safely.

"Harvey!" She gasped.

He lifted his arm, searching the valve with his fingers and managed to turn the shower back on.

She screamed his name one more time feeling the cool water on her skin. He apologized and eventually found the most ideal temperature.

"I'm still in my dress Harvey," she said, trying to catch her breath as she rested her palm on his chest, tapping it lightly.

"And that's what you're worried about." He smirked, playing with the low-cut neckline of her dress.

She chuckled. It hit him like a second wave of warmth; soothing and yet still afraid they could go back to their antics like one giving an inch and the other taking a mile. This day couldn't end up being a losing fight. The alcohol in his system could still chase rainbows away and he hated that feeling. Something caught her attention; she took his wrist in her hand and broke the moment.

"Harvey, your father's watch!"

He took a look at the watch, gave it a gentle tap with his index. The clock's second hand started spinning again; something akin to a blissful breath. "It's old but waterproof, just like me," he reassured her.

Donna laughed at the analogy.

"I'm sorry I left you at the park," he blurted out.

"You gave me space."

"Doesn't mean I like–" he corrected himself, "liked doing it."

"Thank you."

Her answer shocked him.

"I tried pulling some strings this morning. It didn't work."

She searched his eyes. "This is about my apartment."

"You're going to have to assume half the responsibility." He noticed her close her eyes. He took her hand and added: "But I made sure your downstairs neighbors can't sue you for loss of profits, interruption of business or incidental damages."

"So I take it that I'm gonna have to either pay a shit ton of money or sell…"

"I'm sorry." His face was full of regret. "I know you have the money but you can count–"

"I know…"

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner–"

"You should have."

She tilted her head to the side, seemingly questioning herself. "Every once in a while I feel like a damsel in distress with you…"

"Sometimes we need a little help," he retorted and beamed internally when she smiled at the reference.

She sighed and pursed her lips. "I'm definitely going to have to move someplace else for a while."

"Yeah…"

"What do you think of Colorado?"

Harvey gaped in shock. "Wait…what?!"

"Well, that's what you told Mike," she shrugged, clearly messing with him.

"I told Mike I wanted to move to Colorado?"

She nodded. "You should thank him. He's the reason I showed up tonight."

He gulped. "Why did you?"

"I wish I could control more things… but I can't. And sometimes I feel like I don't want to."

She remained evasive so he pressed. "What do you want Donna?"

"I know I don't want to leave your side tonight," she admitted before continuing. "What do you want Harvey?"

"Just…" He tentatively reached for her face and stroked her cheek, "stay like this."

"Okay," she said, stood up, pulled up her dress, struggling a bit at the chest until she could get rid of it completely.

As she kneeled back down, finding a comfortable spot beside him under the shower spray, he frowned. "That's it?"

"What do you mean?" Donna asked playfully.

He gestured to his naked body. "This," he stressed, "is how you take a shower."

"Tempting," she began and then assured him – complimenting without conviction, "very sexy."

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm glad you're okay." She ran a hand through his hair before resting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

It took them a while to get off the shower floor. Harvey was first which gave Donna room to comment on the rounded curve of his ass, describing it as cute. Harvey scratched one of his butt cheeks for negative emphasis before grabbing his towel and putting it around his waist.

"With a one day beard you don't plan on shaving, and that attitude? I feel like we've already moved cross-country," she poked fun at him before closing the sliding doors again.

Harvey understood every undertone. They were moving forward, founding these new grounds for them to tread in what they've always been best at: having faith in each other. He saw her removing her bra and panties frol the eflection in the mirror and smiled at the notion that she was more than a fantasy. The scent of vanilla invaded his nostrils; she was using his shampoo.

Donna was staying a little longer; therefore he wasn't about to push his luck. His head still felt dizzy and he didn't like the taste in his mouth but he could already feel himself sobering up. He knew he'd gone overboard with more than a six-pack and was too old to get hammered like this but things were looking up. He craved her more than anything and of course he'd been staring at her for too long but at least he was multitasking, brushing his teeth with eucalyptus as he went – doctor's orders.

She slid the doors open again a few moments later and paused before calling him a creep. "We'll have to discuss boundaries at some point but would you mind getting me something to wear for the night?"

"Yes, I would," he spat the toothpaste in his mouth and washed his toothbrush.

"Ugh, I hate you." She exited the shower with her head held high. Nothing he hadn't seen before after all.

He turned around, leaned against the washstand to watch the show and crossed his arms. "No, you don't. And this is payback for that ass fetish of yours."

Donna was staring at the swell of his biceps – nothing demanded, nothing seen. Except thinking coherent thoughts was getting harder by the second.

"And this," she said, pointing at her body before walking back to his bedroom, "is me walking out on you. Enjoy."

Harvey didn't give it a moment's thought and rushed to her, made her turn around and closed the door behind her.

The move sent her into fits of laughter. They subsided as she felt him secure her hands and press himself against her. When his fingers laced through hers and his palms pressed her hands against the door next to her face, he caught her lips. Hard, ardently as if his mouth was the real troublemaker in their love story; she couldn't get enough of him. Roaming his hands up and down her side, he softened the kiss, sucking and pecking each corner.

"So…" Harvey licked his lips, staring at her closed eyes and added with a slight cowboy drawl: "Do I still got beer on my breath?"

Donna bit her lip and removed the towel around his waist in response. "I'm guessing you want to skip dinner."

"I'm sorry," he lied with that devilish smile of his. "Those cheeseburgers are out cold anyway."

"I had mine when you were dying under the shower spray." She shrugged.

He chuckled. "I'm good with dying… as long as I die with your name on my lips."

Donna's eyes beamed; the ache in her belly calmly aligning with the fast beating of her heart.

"You in my arms…" he added, running his hands up and down her spine, slow and easy.

She arched a brow and challenged him. "Who's tricking who now?"

"Give up, Donna. You want me now."

The weight on his shoulders disappeared as she put adjusted arms around him. "Oh really?"

"And the next day…"

Donna looked off across the mirror on the other side, enjoying the view of his back, getting to watch him pressed up against her like this. Getting used to Harvey Specter was like getting used to whiskey. She'd never been a fan before him. It wasn't easy at first but once past the inviting albeit bitter taste, each glass slowly crowned her feelings for him. The sneaky heated look in her eyes was for her own benefit since the whiskey story was the kind of payback she'd save for another wild night.

She felt anchored to the ship he was; even a sudden lurch couldn't knock her to the floor. "'You sure you're up to the task?"

Donna expected him to grind into her more and answer with the hard-on he probably was sure would never disappear. He dropped one of his Harvey Specter bombs instead. "Will you still want me if I'm not?"

His words were like fire bolts being shot into her. As he watched her admiringly, she became even more desperate for friction than she was a moment ago. "Most nights I guess, Specter." Her mouth was to his ear; she could sense him smiling as she kissed his nape.

Harvey cupped her cheek with urgency, stroking her mouth gently before sucking on her bottom lip.

"Most... Paulsen?" He pressed, still kissing her lips.

"Fine but you know how I love to read," she pouted.

"Good. But no poetry." He placed his hand between her thighs censoring any confusing feelings she could have left. "Cause I'm in a Henry Miller kind-of-mood."

"_Do anything, but let it produce joy. Do anything, but let it yield ecstasy."_

― _**Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer**_

The End.

* * *

**STN - And that's the end darvey peeps. I hope you enjoyed (re)reading the fic and this ending. Now I have a lot of fics to read and catch up on, yay quarantine! Maybe you'll see me around someday again but I think this was my last darvey fic. **  
**If you want to leave me a review, please do!**

**By the B way I love you,**

B


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